Thnks Fr Th Mmrs
by black.is.the.new.blood
Summary: Sum.change: Once again Raito loses his memories, but this time, they're not just of Kira. What is L to do when he finds himself holding all the peices? Better yet, what will the two of them do about this pesky new Kira? ..eventual yaoi, I promise! LxR
1. Preface 1: Light

Okie-Dokie. Please read ALL of what I have to say first before jumping into the story.

Ahem...This is my VERY FIRST Death Note story, and I am writing from my bare minimal knowledge of DN (okay...so I know a lot more than the bare minimum...I've seen nearly every episode of the anime and though I have not read the manga, I've read enough fanfictions to get the drift of things). This story is my erasing L's death...its sort of a pre-killing thingy. Oh well, you'll see. Oh, and this along with the next chapter are simply prefaces...this one is inspired by "Behind These Hazel Eyes" by Kelly Clarkson...the story...well...kinda obvious.

Plot: In a freak twist of fate, Light becomes the only living member left of the Yagami family. The day of the funeral, Light ends up losing most of his memory due to a head injury. Now, L is pretending that he and Light are dating...and that Light is his "assistant" on the Kira case. It all works smoothly so long as Light has no memory of being Kira. But, will that last very long?

Warning: Upcoming caugh caugh mature scenes. Yaoi, LxLight.

Disclaimer: I hold no claim over the Death Note series nor any of the following characters in this story.

**MWUHAHA...**

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_**Preface #1: Light**_

Light shivered under the shower head as the water slowly morphed from it's cold state to a sluggish warm. Tingles ran down his spine as the water finally became warm. The numbing heat caused his whole demeanor to change. The tall and proud head held high facade he held shattered under the torrential water. His shoulders slumped and his head fell. His breath became ragged as shutters racked his body. His left hand clutched the metal pole that connected to the wall for support. If it hadn't of been for the pole, it would have been a give in that his legs would have given out on him; leaving him weak and pitiful on his knees in the tub basin.

In the shelter of water, steam, and the shower walls Light was free. He was alone in a place where no one would enter. It was a place of well know privacy where he could be undisturbed. Not even the likes of Ryuk would disturb him during his thirty minute showering period. And because of the absolute privacy, Light allowed his emotions and everything else hit and surface...just like the water, falling and breaking.

His hand gripped the cold metal pole until his knuckles went white. The color reminded him so much of that stupid Ryuzaki's skin, bone white. The thought alone was enough to send more shudders of crazy strength to knock into his body. The water that at first had seemed perfectly warm now was simply not warm enough. He needed to be engulfed. He needed to feel his skin burning, to feel human. All because the thirty minutes he had was the only time he could afford to be a simple human. Outside of the confinement, he was Kira. But inside, he was Light, not the monster he had become.

Light felt truly sick for his actions. He felt sick for how far he had already gone, and how much farther he had to go. He knew as the seconds passed that each was taken away from Ryuzaki. He knew it was today that the deed had to be done. He still was not exactly sure how he would go about doing the dirty dead, but knew he would come up with something. Last minute planning was his best. But as the water burned his skin, he realized that he truly did not want to plan. He didn't want to have to kill Ryuzaki. The man had somehow weaseled his way into Lights mind as someone of meaning. He had to do it, but it did not mean he wanted to.

Light slowly let out a long and dragging breath. Two tears slid out of his hazel eyes and mixed with the burning heat of the water from the shower head. It was almost as if the two salted drops that fell from his eyes only existed to himself. No one would ever see them, no one would ever know he cried them. No one would ever know the burning struggle that ripped and tore at his mind. His shell never revealed his true nature, it never hinted at all the secrets combated into his large span of knowledge.

The idea of how completely unseen he was to everyone around him was nearly comical. No one suspected (other than that damned L) that he, Light, could possibly even be somewhat associated with this Kira figure. Of corse not! He was Light, and Light was perfect. Light had perfect grades, perfect family, perfect friends, perfect looks...he had it all. So, why would anyone other than Ryuzaki suspect him? Light chuckled softly underneath the falling water drops. No one knew. Ryuzaki suspected him. Though, the detective had no solid evidence. Besides, Light had started to suspect that Ryuzaki was going soft on him. The strangely intriguing man had been claiming how Light was his first real friend more than he exclaimed that Light was Kira. Light considered taking it as a sign of hope, that maybe Ryuzaki was beginning to doubt that Light, perfect Light, could be Kira. Though the chance of that was close to zero. Ryuzaki would suspect Light of being Kira until the day he died...which would be sooner than he thought.

At thinking of Ryuzaki's death, Light fell onto the hard porcelain tub. His ass was aching from the hard impact, but he didn't care. He didn't even so much as wince from the burning pain it caused the bone and muscles underneath the skin of his plush bottom. His hand squeezed the pole as hard as it could, then released its grasp of the pole with desperation. His knuckles were aching from their release of the solid metal. His whole body seemed in pain. His skin was raw from the absolute hot water tumbling over him. But, nothing hurt quite as much as his head. To his surprise, he found himself curling up into a Ryuzaki position. He rested his head on his knees and allowed his head to ramble on.

_How-how in the hell am I going to do this? Why the fuck did I even let things go this far? I was right, I know I was. The first two deaths were righteous, defense even. Not for myself, but for the innocent. Though, I'm not that innocent anymore, am I? I've killed good men, men of the law. Raye Penbar...he really didn't deserve to die. I simply killed him to save my own ass. And now, now L. But, can I? As much as I hate it, he is the first person I ever really could relate to. Ironic. I hate his guts, his quirky ways that are so unlike mine. But, he's a equal. Before him I was left alone, surrounded by complete and total idiots, people I hated so fucking much. People I still hate. But, aren't those the exact same people I'm trying to fucking save! I'm trying to save those too incompetent to fucking take care of themselves. The people that fight fire with fire. But, I'm doing that as well. I can't quit now though. It's too late. I could turn myself in, but for what? Misa would still be out there. She would still be writing fucking names. Then, only god knows how many others would end up with a Death Note as well. Who know what kind of people they would be. But, I can't kill L. He...he means something to me. I know he does, he has to. I wouldn't feel so miserable about having to kill him if he didn't. But, it's almost as if he already knows this day is coming. He told me himself he knew he would most likely be sacrificing his life for this case. He...he's sacrificing himself to me. To Kira. I have to...but, I don't want to._

Just then, there was a knock on the bathroom door. His thirty minutes were up. Light sighed, not yet rising from his crouched position. He would sit there another minute. But, another knock followed the previous one, along with a all too recognizable voice.

"Light-kun, are you done yet? It's been over thirty minutes. Normally you only take thirty minutes exactly. You are not doing something that should concern me, are you? You know, I could put camera's in there as well." At the mention of Ryuzaki adding a surveillance camera in the bathroom, Light sprang up and turned off the knob of the hot water off. He hadn't any need to turn the cold water, seeing as how lately he had become prone to burning showers. His own personal punishment on himself.

Light carefully stepped out of the shower onto the little white mat on the faux ceramic tile. Ever so slowly, he began to place the mask back upon his face, the one everyone around him had associated with what they believed to be the real Light. But damn were they wrong.

As Light meticulously dried himself off in front of the steam covered mirror, he ritualistically ripped the "Light" manner of thinking, replacing it with Kira. Kira was going to kill L. Kira was going to become god of a new nation. Light was just the pussy in him that got in the way.

So, as he dressed, he started to form a plan. A plan to end L. So he, Kira, could become god.

**-READ and REVIEW...o**


	2. Preface 2: L

Alrighty-then!! Thank you guys for the oh so sweet reviews! I promise...things will start to quicken the pace soon. This is going to be the second preface, L's version. Next preface will have something to do directly with the Death Note...heheh...you will see.

Yeah, so, again, thank you guys for the reviews...promise it will get better! And yes, I know that the first two (three?) chapters will be quite short, but bare with me. They are simply prefaces and kind of just an intro to the story...trust me...the info in these will help ya out in later chapters...whenever I write them that is. Oh, and I will switch back and forth on the names...it may be a bit confusing at times...but, bear with me.

Again, thank you for reviews, they are highly appreciated! (oh and **Iz**...since you aren't a member I could not message you directly, but...what word exactly are you refering to?)

Plot/Summary: In a freak twist of fate, Light becomes the only living member left of the Yagami family. The day of the funeral, Light ends up losing most of his memory due to a head injury. Now, L is pretending that he and Light are dating...and that Light is his "assistant" on the Kira case. It all works smoothly so long as Light has no memory of being Kira. But, will that last very long?

Warning: This is going to transcend into a yaoi fic...oh...and be warned that I tend to like to throw in a lot of cuss words.

Disclaimer:I hold no claim over the Death Note series nor any of the following characters in this story.

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_**Preface #2: L**_

L watched as the perfectly composed Ratio exited the bathroom. Steam sneaked out of the small room and tumbled in the air around the angelic figure. Raito's hair was damp and gleamed in the bright florescent light. His skin was flushed and still glistened with slight moisture. He wore a simple black button-down long sleeve with the cuffs rolled up to just below his elbows, showing off his toned fore-arms. His long and slender legs were adorned in tight dark washed jeans. His feet were bare and uncovered, but L knew that soon would change. Just as L could not stand to have shoes on, Raito could not stand to not have shoes on. It was simply one of the quirks that made them so completely different. Nonetheless, L knew they were exactly the same.

As Raito walked by, he turned his head and smiled slightly while giving a little nod to L. To anyone else, it would seem just a casual sign of acknowledgment. But L was more observant than the average dense person inhabiting the quickly dying earth. Because, when Raito turned his head to L, his eyes darted to spot just between L's eyes. Raito was unable to look him in the eye. Of corse, that was not all. His shoulders were tense and his smile forced, like they always seemed to be now days. The way the smile was so crudely painted on the flawless face was so cruelly out of place.

It hadn't been more than a month or two ago that he had seen Raito smile...really smile. Raito's natural smile was so bright and mirthful. It was so effortless and made his face light up with a bright radiance that could and would attract anyone to him. It was the kind of smile that could not be ignored, and that called everyone around to fall prey and smile as well. L loved that smile. It had been initially what trapped his attention and whole mind in the young Yagami's hands. Though, with each passing day, Raito seemed to become even more distant than the next. And so, with each passing day, L's anxiety grew.

L watched quietly as Raito sat on the edge of the bed, making it sink under his weight. He grabbed a pair of neatly rolled white cotton socks and began the process of dressing his bare feet. L cringed at the sight. The rough cotton against his feet had never been a welcomed feeling. The discomfort would often distract him, causing his productivity to slip. That was the reason behind majority of his strange ways. The baggy clothes, wild hair, bare feet; it was all part of ridding of any distractions that could be caused.

L sighed and subconsciously lifted his thumb to his slightly parted lips. It was another oddity to him, something to help rid of distractions. He certainly did not know what exactly the distraction could have been, but nonetheless. It was a habit, he concurred. The same as how the young Yagami was prone to having a slight twitch in his right hand. L was sure no one had ever noticed it. He even thought it plausible to believe that Raito himself did not realize he was doing it. But, every now and again during the investigation, he would look over and Raito and watch him as Raito would read over information on the computer monitor. His right hand would jump in a little shake, not lasting more than three seconds. Then, after about seventeen seconds after, it would repeat itself. The twitching spells would never last more than two minutes, but it always interested L. He wondered if there was something in particular that triggered it, or if it was simply a involuntary bodily contortion. Though, he had a theory...

L meticulously watched as Raito started to put his old-geezer loafers on. L smiled with his thumb still planted on his lip at how old-fashioned the handsome man was. Raito always tended to wear suits or some type of pressed cotton button down shirt. When L seriously thought it over, he had not once seen Raito in a simple T-shirt. Not even when they had been chained together had Raito dressed down. Even on days when they simply sat in the room, laptop keys constantly making their droning ticks, had Raito dressed down. He always wore his damn precious ironed button down, and damn ironed jeans. Seriously though...who irons their jeans?

L mused on this further as he watched as Raito finished with the shoes on his feet. L remained in his thoughts as Raito stood and looked up at him expectantly. L was oblivious though. He enjoyed his thoughts and analyses on Raito far too much to pay attention to the surroundings he was in.

"Ryuzaki?" L looked up after being called by his alias name. Raito had become quite fond of calling him Ryuzaki rather than L. He had reasoned to L that it sounded friendlier, rather than the damn one letter acknowledgment. Though, this time as Raito said it, Ryuzaki did not sound so friendly. Rather more, it sounded quite hostile. L scanned the possibilities in his mind. He figured he had been staring far too much. But, Raito intrigued him. For some reason, it was like discovering things about himself. He had never been around a human quite like Raito, partially because Raito was so much like himself. A brilliant thing he was.

"RYUZAKI!! What the hell are you staring at?" L finally smacked his head out of the deep fog that had transcended upon it. Raito always seemed to have that effect on him. It was inevitable, but Raito was simply so interesting. He simply could not help himself. He enjoyed his little observations nearly as much as he enjoyed his sugary sweets.

Hell, he had to admit...maybe he loved his observations more.

"Raito-kun, your so perfect." L said indifferently, doing his best to search those hazel eyes now in front of his pale face. L noticed just then, Raito's hand had started to twitch.

"Um...thanks I guess." Raito said dryly. L watched as the man stepped from in front of him to walk over to the door. But, L grabbed his wrist before his hand could so much as graze the stark metal of the door knob.

"Your too perfect for your own good Yagami-kun." L's voice carried a slight warning to it. In L's strange mind, it was not that he had anything against Raito (except the whole him being Kira deal), just that it annoyed him at how far Raito played his perfect card.

"Is that a problem for your, L?" L smiled at the growing hostility in Raito's voice. L knew it was he whom had started the argument, or whatever it was turning out to be. L knew it was also he who started the hostility by dropping the friendly Raito-kun for a more formal sounding Yagami-kun. It was something that he knew Raito picked up on. If nothing else other than the fact that Raito returned the remark by calling him L was proof, then L knew he was right. It did not take a large red neon sign for L to concur his suspicions. All he needed was that glint in Raito's eyes, and hostility in Raito's voice. Even if the average person never picked up on it, L knew. Because, Raito was like L. He was somewhat predictable in his reactions, mainly because it would be how L himself would react.

"Let us go, Yagami-kun." L said and released his somewhat strong grip on Raito's wrist as said person arrogantly shuffled his way out of the room. L watched with a smile perking at his lips. Raito's hand was still twitching. It was going for longer than usual.

So, L's suspicions had been correct. Raito's right hand twitched when he was annoyed. Interesting...


	3. Preface 3: The Death Note

Wow...Fanfic has been screwed up for so long...anywhoz...at least it gave me time to start on this!! Um, so yeah...I actuall wrote what is to be the first REAL chapter to this story a while ago...but it's in 1st person and sounds kind of retarted and completely different from the rest of the story...well, I'lll try and write it in 3rd person, and see if I prefer it that way. If not, I'll just post it the way it is.

Plot/Summary: In a freak twist of fate, Light becomes the only living member left of the Yagami family. The day of the funeral, Light ends up losing most of his memory due to a head injury. Now, L is pretending that he and Light are dating...and that Light is his "assistant" on the Kira case. It all works smoothly so long as Light has no memory of being Kira. But, will that last very long?

Warning: This is going to transcend into a yaoi fic...oh...and be warned that I tend to like to throw in a lot of cuss words.

Disclaimer:I hold no claim over the Death Note series nor any of the following characters in this story.

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_**Preface #3: Death Note**_

"Ryuzaki!!!! You better be fucking kidding me!" Ratio burst into the room with a loud soft and haughty growl escaping his curled lips. His pearly white teeth teased from under the furious mouth, sparkling like the well kept diamonds they were.

Ratio slammed the door with unbelievable force. Had the door not been made (literally) out of steal, it for sure would have broken.

L sat quietly pondering what ear-shattering sound a wooden door would had produced. The wood no doubt would crack and split right down the middle. The sight would be ugly, and wood splinters would be scattered into the air and around the area of the door. His poor bare feet would be subjected to possible splinters entering the soft skin. The thought made Ryuzaki cringe.

But, no; it was a metal door. The only noise it provided was a stark smack as metal hit metal. It was nothing too dramatic.

Raito's right hand twitched. The movement was so violent that Raito finally took notice of his bodies reaction to his well hidden stress. His bodies betrayal only floored his anger at the moment. He couldn't believe Ryuzaki would slip so low as to tell him to retrieve the locked and stored Death Note when he had knowingly re-hidden it so Raito could not fulfill his duty. But even more, Raito hated that it pro-longed his mission to rid of L. If anything at all, it made him slightly more determined to go on with it. He would hate to see Ryuzaki go...but it was the price he had to pay.

"Raito, I have no idea of what you are talking about." L cocked his head to the side. His mind had already passed the idea of a wooden door, and moved on to the furious expression plaguing Raito's face. L mused it was just the look that Kira would use; strong, deranged, cynical, and of the upmost anger twisted with hatred. It really did nothing for his handsome face. Merely, it gnarled his features into the hideous beast L so feared to truly be Raito.

Suddenly, Raito grabbed Ryuzaki by the collar of his white shirt, and hoisted him up into the air. They were face to face, nearly nose to nose, and Raito's snarl never left his face as he peered into the dark holes Ryuzaki had for eyes. The man in his grasp had flung his hands onto Raito's shirt for support due to the fact that his feet had not yet affirmed themselves to the ground.

Hazel and black stared at one another. A few of the investigation member had turned to them. Though, the fights between the two seemed to occur so often that it had become nothing all that special to dote interest upon. Ryuzaki nearly always seemed to manage to win.

"You know what I'm talking about, Ryuzaki. The fucking Death No-"

"AAAAHHHHH" ...

Raito froze. All eyes in the room peered down at the figure skewed out on the floor in pain...but, it was not who Kira had planned on killing that day.

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Chapter 1: Carpal Tunnel of Love


	4. Carpal Tunnel of Love

Okie-Dokie...here is the very first ACTUAL chapter of **Thnks fr th Mmrs**...and if you have not already guessed, yes, the title is from "that Fall Out Boy song"...gah...for those of you who are not well acquanted with their songs shall be receiving some schooling in the manner. Such as, this chapter is named "**Carpal Tunnel of Love**" (carpal tunnel is what I nearly gave myself today after typing for nearly four hours straight listening to that song nearly 60 times!). The song is from their latest CD **Infinity on High**, of which you can purchase the specail edition CD/DVD thingy at Wal-Mart...and yes I am the unofficail Fall Out Boy spokesperson...but sadly I do not get paid...poo. But yeah...I shall be using titles of various FOB songs for my titles. If you want the lyrics to the songs, just ask and you shall be given...though I put the lyrics for Carpal Tunnel at the end of this chapter, if nothing else to convince you to LOVE this song as much as I do!

Huhh...moving on...things are going to be speeding up in the story. This chapter will be A LOT longer than the previous prefaces, I assure you. But, anywho, keep on reading and **review**ing!!!! **Review**s are greatly appreciated, because I myself am not so sure about this story...hmm...anywho.

**Plot/Summary**: In a freak twist of fate, Light becomes the only living member left of the Yagami family. The day of the funeral, Light ends up losing most of his memory due to a head injury. Now, L is pretending that he and Light are dating...and that Light is his "assistant" on the Kira case. It all works smoothly so long as Light has no memory of being Kira. But, will that last very long?

**Warning**: This is going to transcend into a yaoi fic...oh...and be warned that I tend to like to throw in a lot of cuss words.

**Disclaimer**:I hold no claim over the Death Note series nor any of the following characters in this story. Nor do I own Fall Out Boy...but I DO know that Peter loves me! (yes peter loves me, yes peter loves me, yes peter loves me, his lyrics tell me so! think yes jesus loves me tune)

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_**Chapter #1: Carpal Tunnel of Love**_

Vibrant red and baby blue roses tied together in a cylinder vase connected to the large white marble slab..."Yagami Soichiro..August 18, 1959-2008"

The same bright red along with baby pink roses in place in the vase connected to it's own white marble slab..."Yagami Sachiko..June 21, 1962-2008"

Baby pink roses with a matching bow tied to secure the loose flowers, also in their own vase in front of a stark white headstone..."Yagami Sayu..February 3, 1992-2008"

Not a single warm, salty tear formed at the brim of the hazel eyes. Not a single emotion danced across the stoic face. Nothing bubbled in his throat, no pungent burning of a hard gulp stuck and resisting to go down. Nothing. Kira remained the same platic Ken doll that he always appeared to be. Perfectly constructed, everything in the right size, right portion. Nothing missing on the outside. Nothing out of place. But inside was empty. Just a plastic shell covering the empty air hovering inside. Just a wind up heart beating to a unknown tune.

But, Raito was not so. He could feel the clinching of the muscles in his throat burning from trying desperately to push down the hard gulp of air that seemed to not want to go down. Wet heat radiated from the back of his hazel eyes, but dared not fall past their barrier. Not while Ryuzaki was standing twenty feet away from him. It would be a miracle if the man hadn't already noticed the hard movement his heart made against his chest. Or noticed the heavy breaths that seemed to grow in weight with every intake of air. The way his knees were threatening to buckle, and send him spiraling down to the ground at any moment.

No, there was no way Ryuzaki could or would possibly be able to notice the quivering child locked inside the Ken doll facade. All Ryuzaki could see was the somewhat uneven breathing, if even that.

Raito had switched his perfect mask out for a more depressed one during the funeral. It would not do for someone to see him without some sort of sign of grievance. Then he for sure would have been towed away and persecuted for being Kira. But, at that point, it didn't really matter. Being Kira didn't really matter when he could not even find the power source. It had vanished...along with the pulse of his dear family.

He was the only Yagami left standing. His grandparents had gone long ago, and neither parents had siblings. Raito was alone...completely and utterly alone. The once powerful future god was left standing in front of the graves of his family...the ultimate sacrifices for his sins. He knew that now. But the Kira shell never cracked.

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L watched as the boy so beautiful stood there; hands in his suit pockets and feet rooted to the spot in front of his families grave. His suit fit loose on his slender body, not really much of a ideal choice in outfit. But it was in fact a funeral...or at least it had been. Light had not once stepped from the earth he seemed to have sprouted roots into. He was like a plastic statue. So perfectly constructed...but so empty inside.

L mused on how much he hated the blank expression on Lights face. How he would give anything to see it change to depict a real and honest emotion, rather than the thrown on maze of facades. He'd give anything to see Light being...human. At that moment, as he watched Light, he wondered if he was even really alive. He wondered if Kira, or at the very least the other Kira, had gotten to Light as well some how.

But, from his view point he could still see Light's chest rising and falling. The only significant sign that Light was in fact human. But, wasn't that the same for him? The only true proof of his realism was the fact that his heart still beat and his lungs still expanded and allowed air to flow into his body; a corpse of a body it was. Or, maybe it was the corpse of a human...a mind...a life.

L bit down on his thumb as his mind began to reel. He wanted, no, had to get some type of reaction out of the damn stoic boy. He had to see real human hate, anger, happiness, and possibly even love. He had to see for himself that Light could feel these things. He had to see if he himself could feel these things.

Through the time he had gotten to know Light, he had discovered that Light triggered a feeling unknown to him. It was a strange ache not only in the pit of his stomach, but also just above his heart. Even though L had always considered the literal 'heart-ache' theory that was connected to love to be nothing more than a self-induced condition (simply something like a self-induced disease or panic attack), he couldn't help but wonder if it was something more...something real. His heart most definitely ached when he was around the boy, and he knew it was not indigestion from his sweets. It was something else...love, maybe?

The thought of love made L want to laugh. It was stupid, irrational, and completely illogical. People feel the need to have something, or some one that belongs solely to themselves. But of corse, relationships with such a possessiveness are bound to fail before they even have a chance to begin. Hence, divorce rate and teenage pregnancies where the father leaves the mother. People want some one else, some one that they hope will be better than them to fill the void that they themselves cannot.

But, L wondered if there was a possible way around the theory. He and Light were equals. They had the same level of intellect, same physical ability. After the sixth hour of the fourth time they attempted to play chess, they finally agreed to never try again. Why?-because every time, no one would end up winning. It would nearly become a cat and mouse game that lasted hours. Even in tennis, though Light had beaten him the first time, the second time they went out on the bright green court L had won. They were even...equal...the same.

L broke from his thoughts, and set his dark eyes back on Light. Again, he simply stood rooted to the spot like the damn well annoying tree he was; rough, thick (headed that is), and silent. It nearly sent L into a fit of rage at how easily Light could stand there and ignore his presence. Yes, his family was dead, but in all truth he didn't seem all that concerned about the matter. If he in fact was, he hid it just as well as all the other masked emotions.

L started to trod slowly over to Light. Not once on his way did Light even look up from the damn ground. His hazel eyes seemed just as rooted to the ground as his feet.

"Light-kun?...Light-kun?" L frowned. Those damn eyes were still fixated on the ground. The damn annoying son of a ...

"Kira." Lights eyes shot up to stare deadpan into L's.

_ That got him._

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"Kira" His voice was like acid in Raito's ears. The way it sang out in complete and utter hate. It made something in Raito twist in pain. It was just another blow to his already worn facade.

"That is what you sincerely want, is it not Ryuzaki?" Said person cocked his head in the most annoying manner. But right before the words could slip from his mouth, Raito continued.

"You would like nothing more than for me to tell you that yes, I am in fact Kira. Wouldn't you Ryuzaki, or L, or whatever the fucking hell your real name is. You would love nothing more than to slap the cold metal cuffs on my wrists with my hands pinned behind my back as you lead me down the corridors of the jail to the execution room. You would love nothing more than to see me die. To see me join the rest of my family..."

Raito's stomach lurched as all the emotions started to rain down on him. Ryuzaki's incredulous look was not helping the matter.

Raito had not been able to shower often in the past week. Only twice had he been able to have those thirty minutes of release...and the affects were starting to show.

"Then just fucking do it Ryuzaki!!!!---I am Kira!!! Are you happy?! Does that make you happy? Will it help you sleep at night to know that I am dead? Will it be your one and only pleasure...my cold dead body?" Raito was losing it. His face started to twist into staggering frustration and hurt. How could Ryuzaki really be so cold...so heartless.

Every inch of Raito started to shake. The wall behind his hazel eyes that had done so well at fighting off the warm salty liquid earlier was starting to crumble. He could feel the tears bunching at the rim of his eyes. He could feel the betraying right hand twitching furiously. But it didn't matter. He had been worn down. Ryuzaki won. What was it worth being a mortal God anyway if someone could kill him off just as easily as his family.

His family...his immensely devoted father...his sweet, caring, warm, and loving mother...his baby sister, the young girl he was supposed to protect, the girl he was saving the world for so she might have a better future...all gone.

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The sight was nearly more than L could bare to see. Light was shaking like a small terrier dog. His right hand had gone into more convulsions than twitches. His eyes even began to glisten with what L believed to be...tears?

Suddenly, one of the glistening gems fell from Light's hazel eyes and slid softly down his flushed cheeks. It was freezing outside, and Light had been standing in that same spot for more than five hours. Yet, until now, Light had not even made the slightest move that resembled a shiver.

L grabbed Lights broad shoulders and stepped even closer to the man. The shoulders underneath his pale hands were shaking and trembling.

"No, Light-kun. It would not make me happy. I do not want to see Light-kun die. But, if what you are saying is true, and you truly are Kira, then there is not much that I can do. But, I would like to believe that you are not Kira. That you are simply depressed, suicidal. It is not something to be ashamed of Light-kun, but do not let it control you." L kept his voice as smooth as he could as his black holes gazed inside the hazel eyes that confused his emotions so.

"But you said that you want nothing more than to see Kira die! You want to see me fucking die!!! You won't even remember me...you'll forget me...all you will remember is Kira." Light's shaking under L's grasp intensed. Tears started to flow and Light did his best to stop them by squeezing his eyes shut. But, still they fell.

"Light-kun...stop lying to yourself." L whispered softly. His insides were twisting into a lovely mess. He didn't know what he was doing. Whatever it was, it surely was not logical. But, when it came to the feelings that reeled inside of him for Light, nothing was logical.

In one quick movement, L pulled Light into his arms; holding the still shaking boy. His arms entrapped Light and held him tight, in what could be called a nearly loving embrace. One that Light did not seem to return. His toned suit clad arms sagged at his side like dead weight.

------------

Raito was somewhat shocked by Ryuzaki's words.._"Stop lying to yourself."_..If only Ryuzaki knew exactly what those words meant to him at that moment. To stop lying to himself...

To stop lying to himself meant to stop pretending to be perfect, to stop trying to be almighty Kira, to stop denying that he possibly liked Ryuzaki, that he, Yagami Raito, was human...and nothing more.

The arms that held him so tightly, yet so carefully, were so immensely warm. It was like a sea of relief Raito had never experienced before. It was like drowning in a pool of never ending comfort. The feeling surprised Raito, but he promised himself that he would not fight it. As Ryuzaki had said, 'Stop lying to yourself'.

Raito slowly lifted his arms. He was scared witless about what he was about to do, more so than he had ever been before. He wasn't sure if Ryuzaki would be watching, but what did it really matter. He would know soon enough.

Raito's arms reverently slid underneath Ryuzaki's arms and encircled the lithe man. After confirming that the world would not crumble from beneath him, and that the sky would not fall; he tightened his grip around the man.

Raito held on for dear life. Now that it was okay, he would never let go. They would have to have someone drag him off of Ryuzaki to get him off. No, he was too strong to be pulled off. They would have to knock him out.

------------

L was in heaven. His heart was pounding against the steadily shaking male pressed up against him. The corpse cold body was quickly warming up, and held such a nice feeling.

L could feel his shoulder becoming moist where Light's head was placed. The boy..no, man...was crying on his shoulder. He was displaying proof that he was in fact human. That he could in fact feel. And in return, L felt. It was the same place that he felt before, his heart. Except it was not painful. It actually felt wonderful, like a light little butterfly was fluttering inside his heart and making corny little flowers spring to life. L felt like a silly romantic, but...wasn't that human?

L spread his hands open on Lights' back; moving them up down and slowly around his back. It was so strong and firm, and yet still somewhat slender. And then...something hit him. Light felt good...Light felt very good.

L stared down at the pale porcelain skin on Light's exposed neck. It was nearly calling him out...telling him to make a move. And even though taking a step forward made him swim in fear, it could not be prevented. He need to, and would, make a move.

Ever so slowly, he crooned his head down. The face on his slumped shoulders remained, and L was thankful for that. Those powerful hazel eyes would have for sure sent him into seizures. But, no eyes popped up. So, L continued his slow journey down. Inch by inch he went as his face grew close to the target at hand. He allowed his lips to hover over the skin a few seconds, and allow his warm breath to caress the skin. Then, as his heart beat fiercely against his chest, he closed the distance between his lips and Light's tantalizing neck.

He kissed the neck softly, pillowing it with light kisses. He dared to go no further, even though he was inexplicably in absolute heaven.

The head on his shoulder lifted, making shaggy auburn hair sway. Those hazel eyes instantly locked onto his own dark black holes. Something sparked, and before L could realize what he himself was doing, his lips moved to Lights.

In what could only be described as mere seconds, Light went limp in L's arms...his instant dead weight caught L off guard, and the two tripped and stumbled to the ground. On the way down though, L heard a sharp crack. Once on the ground, he looked up to see Light's face blank with eyes closed, his body completely limp underneath him. L looked up to the Yagami headstone and saw something that horrified him to no end...blood...crimson blood splashed on the white headstone.

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

_**Fall Out Boy, "Carpal Tunnel of Love"**_

**We take sour sips from life's lush lips**

**And we shake, shake, shake the hips in relationships**

**Stomp out this disaster town**

**You'll put your eyes to the sun and say, "I know **

**You're only blinding to keep back what the clouds are hiding."**

**And we might've started singing just a little soon**

**We're throwing stones at a glass moon**

**Whoa oh, we're so miserable and stunning**

**Whoa oh, love songs for the genuinely cunning, whoa-oh**

**We keep the beat with your blistered feet**

**And we bullet the words at the mockingbirds singing**

**Slept through the weekend and dreamin**

**Of sinking with the melody off the cliffs of eternity**

**Got postcards from my former self saying: "How you been?"**

**We might've said goodbyes just a little soon**

**(Stomp out this disaster town)**

**Robbing lips, kissing banks under this moon**

**Whoa oh, we're so miserable and stunning**

**Whoa oh, love songs for the genuinely cunning**

**Whoa oh, we're so miserable and stunning**

**Whoa oh, love songs for the genuinely cunning, ohh…**

**(Peter screamo part)**

**It was ice cream headaches and sweet avalanche**

**When the pearls in our shells got up to dance**

**You call me a bad tipper of the cradle**

**Tired young fawns on hunter's lawns**

**We're the has-beens of husbands**

**Sharpening the knives of young wives**

**Take two years and call me when you're better**

**Take tears that are mine, find yourself wetter**

**Whoa oh, we're so miserable and stunning**

**Whoa oh, love songs for the genuinely cunning**

**Whoa oh, we're so miserable and stunning**

**Whoa oh, love songs for the genuinely cunning **


	5. I've Got A Dark Alley, And A Bad Idea

Ello peoples! I finally finnished up this chapter, and am surprisingly quite happy with it. I think it's the perfect intro to...well...you'll find out. Heheh...this chapter has loads of clues as to my exhistance though...such as the doctors name, Holzhouer, that's the dude that delivered me...so you guys can sort of thank him for my exhistance.

Oh---and Happy Happy Joy Joy!!!---I finally got a new iPod, and his name is Frank...heheh...so I used the name in the story...long story as to why I named my iPod and how my previous one was stolen, and I shall not waste this space as to tell you, but if you would like to know you can kindly message me and I shall tell you.

And since I obviously mentioned doctor, duh...their in a hospital. A lot of it is written from my hospital experiences. From the one time in Atlanta (God **THAT** was a long story...has to do with a **Fall Out Boy **concert though!) and then from the time my mom was in the hospital having surgery...so yeah...a lot of it, such as the blue bench thingy, are from personal experiences. Damn...I had to sleep six hours on that damn bench with my knees resting on top of the metal arm bar and legs dangling...yet still I slept...desperate times calll for desperate measures...again a long story.

Anywho, enough wasting time...**ON WITH THE STORY**...and all you people who have alerted...please review! Thank you so very much!

**Plot/Summary**: In a freak twist of fate, Light becomes the only living member left of the Yagami family. The day of the funeral, Light ends up losing most of his memory due to a head injury. Now, L is pretending that he and Light are dating...and that Light is his "assistant" on the Kira case. It all works smoothly so long as Light has no memory of being Kira. But, will that last very long?

**Warning**: This is going to transcend into a yaoi fic...oh...and be warned that I tend to like to throw in a lot of cuss words.

**Disclaimer**:I hold no claim over the Death Note series nor any of the following characters in this story. Nor do I own Fall Out Boy...but I DO know that Peter loves me! (yes peter loves me, yes peter loves me, yes peter loves me, his lyrics tell me so! think yes jesus loves me tune)

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

_**Chapter #2: I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth**_

"LIGHT-LIGHT!! You gotta stay with me Light!" L was panicking, something he had close to never done before. But thanks to the reality of the situation, not panicking was inevitable. The tourniquet that the MT had wrapped around Lights head was soaked in crimson blood. The normally soft beige skin was now a ghostly shade of white that was comparable to L's own skin. Of which was NOT a natural, nor a good thing.

"Come on Light, please say something!" L's wide dark eyes were desperately searching Light over for some sign of recognition to his words. But the only movement made was the slow rise and fall of his chest. L had to get a response out of the young Yagami, he knew he had to or else Light would most likely go into a coma if he hadn't already. So, desperate times, called for desperate measures.

L leaned in close to Lights face, ignoring the strange glance coming from the direction of the MT. He truly didn't give a rats ass about what the stranger thought of him. It wasn't like there was anything the man could truly do to prevent what L would do now, and most likely later. So, without hesitation or second thoughts, L closed the distance and met Lights cold lips with his own. He slowly kissed the cold lips, pulling Lights bottom lip in-between his own for a bit and sucking on it. That was, until the ambulance hit a rather large pot hole, separating them in the jostled move.

But, apparently, it still did the trick. Lights hazel eyes flashed open, only remaining to open for a second before blinking them shut and groaning. But L smiled at the sign of consciousness. It meant there was more hope than there was before. L was so happy about that one fact, that he didn't even notice the wide eyed stare coming from the shocked MT. But, it didn't really matter.

"...Ryu..z..." L's smile faded as he heard Light struggling to speak. He wanted him to remain as quite and still as possible, to keep what strength he had left after losing so much blood. But, the boy did not stop.

"...ak..ki...I...I was going to...you were...supposed to be..the..the one that died...not them...it...it disappeared...I...wa...was...I...am...cough...I am..K-kir..." L's eyes had grown wider, if at all possible. He immediately put a finger to Lights somewhat warmer lips to silence him. L did not want to hear those words. Not now, not ever. Deep down, he already knew that the struggled words were true. He knew it all along. But he refused to believe it. At the very least for now.

L knew that Light was Kira. Knew before, and knew now. The confession changed nothing, except the fact that Light had now openly admitted to being the notorious serial killer. The thing L could not figure out was what had brought upon such a confession. He knew from research that people normally admit or confess things that they normally would hold secret at their death bed. But, Light would not die. L would see to it that he would not. If it took every single penny he owned, he would make sure that Light stayed on this earth. He hated that he had been swayed so far from his original goal in only a matter of weeks, but it was a feeling he couldn't shake. It was something that hurt so bad, and yet felt so good. It was something he had never felt before, and something he never wanted to lose.

Light was the person he was supposed to be proving to be Kira...but instead, even when the boy admitted that he in fact is Kira, along with that he wanted to kill L himself, it still somehow didn't matter. He had started as the leader of the one ringed circus, and now he had been thrown into the lions din at his own will. And even though it had started as he in the Lions mercy, the tables had switched. The lion that had so eagerly been ready to pounce was now unconscious on a stretcher at the sheer mercy of the lamb. How ironic.

---------------------------

L sat, squirming uncomfortably in the barely padded metal bench in the sad excuse of a waiting room. The thing had only two drab blue faux leather cushions on it's seat that had puncture holes in it with light yellow padding sticking out like a sore thumb. Everything about the older hospital seemed to have the same sort of quality. It was old, and seemed to not be very technologically advanced. But, it had been the closest hospital to the cemetery. And Light had needed to get to a hospital so desperately. So, it didn't really seem to matter how upscale the place turned out to be. So long as they treated Light to the utmost of their ability to treat him.

L had nearly been tempted to call Watari and have him do a background check on the hospital, but that also meant explaining why he was at the hospital. And at that direct moment, he was in no mood what so ever to go over the extensive details with anyone. He still hadn't come to those details himself. The only thought, or more like prayer, that passed through L's mind was for Light. That Light would be okay.

With sudden realization, L felt his lip starting to beg for his thumb. At the same time, his naked toes on the cool material of the bench curled into a tight little fist of toes. His thumb was placed over his trembling lips, and he wanted nothing more than to bite off the non-finger ligament. It irked him to no end how he had to sit in that one spot, waiting, going fucking insane! He wished a nurse or someone would at least have the decency to come over and tell him what in the hell they were even doing. L was no doctor, but he understood the study of medicine quite well. And from his own diagnosis, Light would most definitely need blood. Not only that, but he remembered distinctly hearing Lights skull crack. He wasn't sure how bad it had been. But, it obviously had not been fatal. Only enough for blood loss and a light coma.

Though, L knew that if his predictions were true, then they most likely would not come for him for several more hours. The process that would be needed for Light would most definitely take a long time. If it was indeed a cracked skull, they would have to shave his head...all that beautiful auburn hair, L wished they would let him keep it...then, they most likely would have to deal with the fact that most likely his brain would swell. Then, most likely they would put a plate in Lights head. L shuddered at the thought.

All the thoughts of what most likely would be done to Light made him sick. It all made him nervous, and subconsciously reach for his cell phone. He wanted to know the quality of the hospital. If it turned out they were not up to par, he would immediately have Light hauled out of the operation room in a heart-beat. He couldn't bare to lose Light, not now, not just yet. He would fight heaven and hell to make sure nothing took him away just yet.

But, finally, the little knot that had started to form in his stomach the moment Light said..those, those words, began to grow. Light told him he was Kira. Said it as plain as day...or at least as plain as day as he could in-between consciousness with God only knows how much blood leaking from his head...

As much as L wanted the thoughts to go away, they seemed to become permanently stuck in his train of thought. It was like a abandoned puppy on the street. You give it even the littlest of attention, and it will begin to follow you everywhere. And so was the case with Light being Kira. When L hadn't thought about it, it did not have a chance to scorch his brain with its sorrowful fire. But, now that he had given it his attention, it was consuming him. Like a fire, filling him and leaking it's empty hazing smoke to fill where the flames could not. Fogging his mind for countless hours.

All along, L had assumed Light to be Kira. But, now that the damn boy had gone out and said it, L did not want to believe it. Be it that they kissed, or be it the funeral that they had previously attended to. But for whatever reason, L refused to believe it as the truth. He would do anything to prove Light was innocent. A complete 360 from his previous accusation.

L pondered on the idea. That instead of trying to prove Light's guilt, he would try and prove his innocence. No matter what, he had to now. Not only was he involved emotionally at this point, but if he kept such a confession to himself, it would only put himself in direct path of the storm. Even more so that there had been a person there to witness the statement. He could easily claim it was merely due to the concussion, but, that most likely would not work for someone who was already suspected of being Kira.

No matter how L looked at it, they were both screwed. It seemed as though he had lost all sense the very moment he allowed himself to kiss that soft pale neck. But, he couldn't help the selfish desires bubbling inside of him. He had never had something this intense collide with his emotionally lacking life. Nothing he had ever experienced even came close to this situation.

L only wished there was some way to rid Light of that intolerable God-complex once and for all. But, he knew even if Light gave up the title of "Kira", it would never change the fact that he once was the insane killer. That unfortunately, was something neither law nor logic could change.

So it merely left a depressed, lonely, and scared L in the empty waiting room replaying every thought over and over. Trying desperately to find a loop-hole. He knew there simply had to be some type of way out of the sticky situation. There had to be some way. He was L for Christ fucking sake, if could not figure a way out of this, no one could.

------------------------

It had to have been three hours at the very least before anyone acknowledged L, or told him of any progress on Light. L had not even noticed the gangly looking woman at first. He was too immersed in his own thoughts to care or see the large woman hovering over him.

"Mr. Davis? Mr. Frank Davis?" L looked up and took a second to register that that had been the name he had given to the medical technicians. He nodded and stared at the pale woman with eager eyes.

"You're here for a..Yagami Light?" Again, L nodded, becoming somewhat annoyed with the way this woman was beating around the bush. Was he going to be okay, or was he not going to be okay? Was it truly that difficult for the obese woman squeezed in the tacky pink scruggs covered in teddy bears to handle?

"Your friend has come out of surgery and his surgeon, Dr. Holzhouer, would like a word with you." L nodded and stood from his uncomfortable chair. A wave of relief washing over his entire being that Light was out of surgery. That Light was going to be okay.

The plump woman plodded her way down the hospital corridors. The tile on the floor was a pale yellow that was somewhat dusty, and gave a loud smack each time L's bare feet made contact. The walls were a milky shade of blue, a usual choice for hospitals. L assumed it was chosen to calm the people passing by the rogue walls. But to him, it did quite the opposite. L did not want the walls there. They were merely getting in the way of him seeing Light.

But, finally the annoying walls and their annoying secrets were finally revealed. A man in his late 50's was standing in front of a wooden door with the number 75 on it. L had to squint to see it, but the name Yagami was definitely written on the chart that was settled in the plastic cubby on the door. The simple name filled L with exasperated joy. He was finally closer to Light. After those previous hours of hell, he was finally closer.

"Mr. Davis, I presume?" The man said in English. It was obvious that L was not Japanese, so it did not surprise him very much that the doctor would address him as such.

"Yes. Did everything go well? Were there any complications? Is he going to be okay?" L knew his face wasn't exactly stoic at the moment, but he was sincerely worried. He had never had to experience a trip into the hospital with a person that was still alive, let alone someone he loved.

"Yes, surgery went fine, but...there are some things I would like to discuss with you...in private." With that, the over weight nurse walked off, and the doctor started off down the hall as if he expected L to follow. But, L lingered in front of the door. He wanted to see Light. He wanted to see for himself that Light was indeed in there and would be okay.

"Please Mr. Davis, come along with me. He will still be there when you get back. He's still asleep anyway, so you would not be able to speak to him." L looked away from the door, and began to reluctantly follow the man. From the dark brown and grey stubble that had begun to form around his face, L could easily guess that the doctor was obviously tired and not in the mood to paddy-cake around.

So, L followed the man down another corridor with yet again the same milky blue walls and dirty yellow tiled floor. On their way, they passed many wooden doors with clipboards that held the names of different patients. Though L did not bother to remember any of the names. There was only one he was concerned with.

"I sincerely hope you do not mind, but...the hospital is too small to accommodate actual offices." Dr. Holzhouer pushed the button with a up arrow that sat next to the horribly tacky faux wood door that connected to the elevator. Within seconds the doors slid open to reveal the same faux wood lining the walls of the little elevator.

The doctor stepped in, holding his hand out in front of the doors to keep them from shutting as L slowly made his way inside. He was not completely sure about what the doctor was doing, but would do anything for Light's sake. If this doctor had something important to tell him about Light that could not be told where it could be heard by others, then he would oblige. If only for Lights sake.

"I'm sorry for having to do this," They had not been in the elevator for more than a few seconds when the doctor broke his sentence and pushed the bright red stop button, halting the elevator.

"But this is a conversation I'm sure you would rather have in private. And as I said before, there are no offices here and the nurses are rather nosey. I'm sure you would not enjoy them poking into the conversation were are about to have." The man looked at L as if waiting for some type of approval. So, L nodded his head and waited for the man to continue.

"As personal as this question is, it is quite important for me to know as to what your relationship with Yagami is." The dark brown eyes of the middle aged, and what L had deducted as Jewish, doctor were staring into his own onyx eyes. The question made L want to throw his thumb to his lips, but he held back. He did not want to be weak in front of this man. Besides, they were in private.

"I am his significant other." L stated. He did not particularly feel he should call Light his "boyfriend"...but at the same time, "lover" sounded far too advanced for their short and recent start. Significant other would have to do.

"As was assumed. But, this leads me to give you the news you will be the least to enjoy. As you know, Yagami received a concussion and a minor crack in his skull. It wasn't enough to worry about going in and placing a plate in, but enough to concern us. We did have to shave his hair off to get to the injury site though. He has a pretty nasty gash on his head, and lost a immense amount of blood. Luckily, he was type AB, so it was not very hard to find a match. He is sedated at the moment, and will be on pain medications for a few months. Though...he seems to have a case of...amnesia. It isn't certain what he will and will not remember, but...in many cases the patient will remember basic skills such as those learned in school. But, then completely forget everything about themselves as a person. So, I thought better to warn you, that...he might not remember you."

With the last few sentences muttered from the doctor, L became more and more light headed. The small faux wood walls surrounding him seemed to be growing smaller...his mind was screaming it was all a lie. It had to be. How could Light not remember him? How could he forget the kiss...the...the...

The world began to spin around L, and he heard a frantic voice calling out for someone named Frank Davis. L didn't care. He had to get out of the elevator...before the walls came in on him..and killed him.

A/N: Here again are the lyrics. Now go and become lil Fall Out Boy zombies!!! And don't forget to review the shit out of this chapter!

**"I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth"**

**Fall Out Boy**

**From Under the Cork Tree**

**Joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of "just friends"**

**We're the kids who feel like dead ends**

**And I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses**

**I took a shot and didn't even come close**

**At trust and love and hope**

**And the poets are just kids who didn't make it**

**Who never had it at all**

**And the record won't stop skipping**

**And the lies just won't stop slipping**

**And besides my reputation's on the line**

**We can fake it for the airwaves**

**Force our smiles, baby, half dead**

**From comparing myself to everyone else around me**

**Please put the doctor on the phone because I'm not making any sense**

**Blame everyone but me for this mess**

**And my back has been breaking from this heavy heart**

**We never seemed so far**

**I'm hopelessly hopeful, that you're just hopeless enough**

**But we never had it at all**


	6. This Ain't a Scene, it's a Disclaimer

Okay, I'm saying this as a now until now on thing. I'm sure most of you don't mind or care that I'm putting up the lyrics and all, but I gotta say this in case someone does. No, I did not write these lyrics, and no they do not belong to me. But, they do belong in my heart and in every lil car crash heart out there. I don't know why it would offend anyone, but if it does, I do not apologize...joking, I sort of do. But trust me, Pete wouldn't care in the very least that I'm sharing his beautiful words. Do we have that all clear? That yes, I am including Peter Wentz's lyrics at the end of my chapters, it is not intended to be a written part of the chapter, more like a authors note quoting the beautiful words. Okay? Okay.

Sorry to those who thought this was another chapter, but it was brought to my attention and I felt I needed to go ahead and say it. I'll delete this and post some of this in the next ACTUAL chapter, okay? Oh, and the next chapter will hopefully be done in like a week...maybe less...who knows? Just please keep reading, and hang in there with me. I know it's kind of slow and what not, but I gotta build up the plot line..(Leah #1 "What plot line, you don't have one you douche." Leah #2 "Oh shut up...you know I make it up as I go...so go cry in the corner little emo kid." #1 "Shut up! --you...you have weird hair! (goes and cries in the corner like a lil emo kid)")

-Wow...that was a random moment...I'm sorry you guys have to suffer from my random sleep-deprived rambles...I know...I am strange...dont' make me get into that theory...or I swear to God I will be up till 5 explaining how there is no such thing as normal, only different levels of abnormal...see, there I go...shutting up now.


	7. Where is Your Boy Tonight?

Alright people! I'm back!

First off, I'm going to appologize for how slow these past two chapters have been. Gah, I really would like to write a long one for you guys, but seem incapable of doing so. I tend to like to focus on one or two things at a time, and describe the hell out of them. So, I don't really blame you for skimming through parts, cause I'd probly do the same. But, next chapter as things heat up, I will do my best to possibly make it longer, and put a lot more in there. ..first I have to determine exactly what will happen next..

Having said that, if you guys ever get any ideas for the story, I will gladly read them and take them into consideration. And if you have any constructive critisism, I'll read that too! ---again, I probly need to describe less, events more...grr..

And to all those who review, you guys are angels! Seriously! I wish I could send all you guys a monster cookie! (those things are the shit!) But, seeing as I cannot, thank you to the following : Shinsei Fenikkusu, ayame zangetsu, PirateCaptainBo, YunaFab, PeGuInS ArE eViL, Nusku, Starchild49, death by computer addiction, kitsune55, IntenseStupidity, EmoNekoNinja, XIXDeadGirlXIX, Kageshi, WayEviler, Bloom Flower, JediMasterWithAPen, whimsical.and.write.am.i, DragonMisstress325, SoraXNamine, Vic, Giz-mix, B.F, Psycho Supernova, Kitsune Eru, Meyshi, SxG L, foxy-comic-death, fanofninjawarrior, Lifelong-Lemon-Lover, fireanice, TragickPast, Sara Silvermoon, samuraipoet, lilly love, copycat-rikko,!

And to those of you who have alerted (there's like 64 alerts in all for the story) and not reviewed, thank you for at the very least alerting, it shows me that people are actually interested in my story, and on me writing it! Though, it'll give you special browny point if you review!

Oh, and I'm leaving the disclaimer chapter up, and thanks to all of you who seem to agree with me that it is somewhat rediculous and all, but yeah. It's up there for safety...and cause I really like the name!

**Plot/Summary**: (this is most likely going to change in a bit.) In a freak twist of fate, Light becomes the only living member left of the Yagami family. The day of the funeral, Light ends up losing most of his memory due to a head injury. Now, L is pretending that he and Light are dating...and that Light is his "assistant" on the Kira case. It all works smoothly so long as Light has no memory of being Kira. But, will that last very long?

**Warning**: This is going to transcend into a yaoi fic...oh...and be warned that I tend to like to throw in a lot of cuss words.

**Disclaimer**:I hold no claim over the Death Note series nor any of the following characters in this story. Nor do I own Fall Out Boy...but I DO know that Peter loves me! (yes peter loves me, yes peter loves me, yes peter loves me, his lyrics tell me so! think yes jesus loves me tune)

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

_**Chapter #3: (Grand Theft Autumn) Where is Your Boy Tonight? **_

L's eyes cracked open to the painful surrounding light. It quickly made his eyes revert back into the nice dark little nest his eye lids had provided. Besides, he felt so weak. His head was pounding, and his whole body seemed to ache. It was as if someone had smashed a brick against his head, and the impact had floated to increase as it traveled down his body. Leaving him sore as if he had just been in a fight, or something of the sort.

He suddenly heard what sounded to be a somewhat high pitch voice. It obviously belonged to a woman. It, she, she was saying something, but it all sounded like one high pitch ringing blur to him. Whatever that noise was, it sure was not helping with the splitting his head was attempting to make. It was like his body was trying to run away from its self; a sort of tug a war, mind you.

Slowly, a few words started to register, though it was still shattering his splitting insides. He heard the words "wake", "waiting" , and "asleep". But he had no clue as to what it all meant. He was awake. That much he was able to tell due to the fact he had never experienced such realistic pain in a dream. Waiting; he guessed someone was waiting for him to wake up. But, asleep? Maybe they thought he could still be asleep. At the moment, he wished that he had been.

Suddenly, something, or more like someone, was shaking him by the shoulders. L let the painful moan escape his lips. Why couldn't they all just go away? Ever damn thing, why couldn't it just go away?

"Mr. Davis, Yagami-san shall be waking up in a few hours. You need to wake up Mr. Davis. You need to be there with him." L's eyes creaked open at the familiar sound of the English dripping from the middle aged doctors lips. The words for once registered, and L attempted again to open his eyes.

This time, L achieved holding his eyes somewhat open. Though, everything was just a big, bright blur that he could not see very clearly. The only thing he could make out was the older man's blurry outline and a few shades and hues that colored him.

He rolled his head over to the side somewhat, causing the already bright and blurred room to spin. Bright pink and little blurred brown spots met the bright light and made his world splash in a tie-dye mess.

"You need to sit up darling, and take this." L felt someone lift his head as the woman's voice rang like a little high pitch buzzer in his head. His stomach rolled, and he feared he would puke over anyone who was in the mass array of his tie-dye vision.

Suddenly L's mouth was invaded, and he felt two small, hard ovals shoved into his mouth. Before he could react, a soft cold liquid filled his mouth and chased the foreign objects down with the tidal wave of the cool water.

The spinning decreased, and never in all his life had L thirsted for water this bad. His throat felt as if it had been stuffed with sand, and the water was chasing it down with it's strong powerful current. His hand blindly shot out in search of more of the miracle liquid, and he was happily greeted with the cold bottle being placed in his hands. The cold perspiration on the bottle battling that of his cold sweaty hands.

Slowly the pain began to ebb, and his throat no longer felt like a loofa. His head still felt somewhat split, but it was slowly coming back together. The black orbs he had for eyes were searching the bright room now that it had finally slowed down and returned to it's natural pace. Every little thing was sucked in and thoroughly absorbed in from those black holes into his mind as calculations began to run.

As quickly as the relief from the pain had come, a whole new set of even more agonizing pain hit him. Light...when... if and if when Light woke up, he would not remember a single thing. Not about Kira, not about his family, not about the funeral, not about L, and not about...them. Not about what they had become.

As casual as L kept his face, he was in agony. It was as if sharp needles of reality had been jabbed into his skin in random places, making blood bead and then tumble down his skin. It all seemed like this sort of event would belong in some cheesy soap-opera...even though it wasn't. It was happening here and now. Not only to himself, but to Light. They had been sucked into this strange TV set by accident. Things like this didn't happen...people didn't kill other people with a book. It was not logical, or even reasonable in any sense...and yet still it happened. People don't fall in love with the prime suspect of a serial killer case...and yet he had. Perfect people like Light did not throw away everything in life for illogical power...and yet he had. People don't kiss in a fucking cemetery...yet they had. People don't nearly die in a cemetery due to a accident such as Lights...yet...Light had...and now..Light had lost his memory...

So, here he was. L, almighty L, trapped in a drama train that didn't seem to be slowing down any time soon. He had never asked for a ticket, nor attempted to board this train. He had simply been shoved onto it by chance, and seemed to have pulled someone along with him. Problem being, there were only two places this train would end at. Either a unfinished track, as it cascaded through the air down into a gorge as the metal crashed and twisted, ending their little game. Or it would end smoothly at a ideal location. But, the problem was...no one that he knew of was driving this train from hell. It all seemed left to chance.

And L was not too keen on taking blind chances.

L started thinking about the position he was currently in. He was laid out on the floor in front of the elevator. The nurse from before was hovering next to him, along with Dr. Holzhouer. Both were looking at him strangely, but L didn't care. He was contemplating jumping up and barging down the hall to Light's room. He wanted to be there so badly...and yet...and yet...

L was scared. He was utterly scared shitless at the idea of Light waking up, and not knowing who in the almighty world he was. How was he supposed to explain to the blank slate of a human that he was his, his "significant other" as L had phrased earlier. How would Light react? From his deductions, not very well. But, then again..how could a blank man argue with that? If Light didn't know anything other than what L told him...what L told him.

The idea hit him like the freight train from hell he was so precariously riding. Light would not remember being Kira. Light would not remember his family's death. He would be a blank slate...open to whatever L wanted to create him to be.

But, wasn't that crazy? Wasn't that absurdly selfish? To want to create someone to be exactly what you wanted them to be. L had remembered seeing news reports, and journals on all the genotype studies, and remembered how absurd he thought the notion was. To choose what characteristics your child would have. The control to choose whether or not your child had green eyes or blue; acne or perfect skin. It was ridiculous.

L could never make Light to be someone else...besides, he had loved..wait..yes, he had _loved _Light for who he was. He would never want Light to change. But, he did want the evil thing that had possessed him gone. He wanted Light...the Light he had come to know in that small amount of time in the cemetery. One that could feel, and that showed emotion. One that was not the stoic maniac with a God-complex.

The one thought lingering was...what if Light did not want him now. Even if Light wouldn't know anything to be truth except what he would be fed, what if he decided in this new fresh state of mind that he was repulsed by L? The Light L had encountered that evening had no qualms it seemed about their level of intimacy...but what if when Light woke up and was told of their relationship? What if he decided he did not want to have anything to do with him?

There was only one way to find out.

"May I see him?" The doctor looked at him warily, and the nurse simply stared at Dr. Holzhouer. L could tell the man was worried about his health. He could tell from the still somewhat sharp pain at the back of his head that had not ebbed much that he had received a slight bump. It was nothing that L found life threatening, and it would simply bruise and then go away.

"I believe he is still asleep...he most likely will be for a while. But, if you would like. Does your head still hurt?" The doctor eyed L as he slowly lifted himself off of the cold, dirty tiled floor.

"No, I'm fine." L lied perfectly, his face stone. The man standing above eyed him, but none the less stuck a hand out to help him off the floor. L slowly held his hand out, and the man hoisted him easily off the floor. A somewhat shocked look appeared on the mans face. L reasoned it was shock from realizing how light he truly was. It wasn't that he was actually "under weight", he simply did not carry any weight that was not needed. Besides, though he was a lithe man, he was quite strong.

L stood still as the man eyed him over once more, allowing the swimming his head seemed to be enjoying so to decrease. Though, there was still a loud piercing ring bouncing about in his head, he ignored it. The fluttering of fuzzy moths in his stomach was enough to help him avoid the pain. He could feel the panic rising from his throat, threatening to strangle him.

"This way." The middle aged doctor said as he turned and started down the hall, not even glancing back to see if L was following. But, the man didn't need. to. L might have been nervous...but he still wanted to see Light. He had to. Light was metaphorically his birth certificate...the proof that L was indeed alive. He didn't need to bleed or feel physical pain to know he was alive. That was what Light was there for. But, would it still be that way, even when Light had no clue in all hell, heaven, or earth who he was?

Of course it would be.

L tended to be a pessimist at times, but in this time frame, he forced himself into optimism.

The door with the 75 in bold black font stood proudly as L and the man in front of him approached. It looked the same as it did before, but the feeling radiating from the room was some how different. Armed with the new knowledge, L could feel the intimidating aura roll of the room and onto him. His face showed no hesitation, but his mind was reeling. This new situation was a puzzle he had yet to discern. Not that he wouldn't' soon though. But, he needed to see Light. To get his mind to work. To figure out what they were to do now.

L's anticipation grew as they neared the door, only a few feet away. The doctor reached the door and stepped to the side of it. Giving way for L to open the door. But, just as he reached his hand out to open the door...it flew open on its own.

(damn how I just want to stop there and leave you wanting more, but I assure you, I am not that positively cruel...close, but still not that cruel.)

A short woman in all blue shrieked, as did L. In the seconds of the door opening, his body filled with adrenaline. He did not want to say that he had expected it to be Light, but what else was he to expect coming out of the room?

L's eyes widened to a unsurpassable size as he stared at the woman in front of him. His heart was pounding erratically against his chest, and his eyes seemed to have lost the ability to blink properly.

"Oh, my, I'm sorry. Go on in." The nurse said in a somewhat breathless tone. It seemed as though she too had not expected any other person on the other side.

The nurse stepped out and around L, leaving him to gape at the sight directly in front of him.

There was Light, swallowed in the white linens, looking as a ghost among the mass of white. His face was pale, and his hazel eyes closed, bearing nothing but creamy eye lids and long, thick auburn lashes. His lips were pale as well, and drooped into a thick frown in what seemed to be a rather unpleasant sleep. His arms were on top of the blankets, and his right hand would jerk every few seconds.

Though, what fully caught L's attention was the bits of auburn fuzz peaking from underneath the extensively bandaged head. It was just as Dr. Holzhouer had said, they had shaved Light's hair off. All of his silky, soft, beautiful auburn hair; gone. Only bits of fuzz where there was not bandages.

Beside the bed of the sleeping man were the machines keeping him alive, or at the very least stable. One machine beeped and chimed to Lights slow, but surely beating heart. On a pole hung a liquid that ran through a small tube all the way down to the IV stuck into the pale arm. On another pole like stand was a box like contraption. The gate on the front was locked, and inside held a large vile of some type of liquid, connecting a tube from it into the pale arm as well.

"We have him on a morphine drip right now. But, hopefully by the end of the week before he goes home, he'll be on pills. Though he will most likely become anemic, due to the blood transfusion. Being that he was type AB positive, we were able to give him a small amount of O, being that is the most abundant here at the hospital. We normally have a short supply of AB, but someone came just the other week to donate blood, and was type AB. Be that as it may, he will still be at risk to woozy spells and such. One cannot loose so much blood and expect to simply pop right back up because they had a blood transfusion. It will takes weeks, if not months, before he is completely one-hundred percent. But I assure you he will recover. There is even a good possibility that he will regain most of his memories. It will take a long time, but it has happened before. If you would like, I can leave you two alone for a while." Dr. Holzhuaer finished.

L nodded, and the middle aged man left, shutting the door behind him. Leaving only L and Light in the awkward room.

At first, L wasn't sure of what to do. He had never been a situation like this, nor ever expected to be in a situation like this. Seeing Light so still, so powerless was uncomfortable. Not being able to hear that triumphant voice as it argued something intelligent, trying desperately to out-wit L. It was all just wrong, all so foreign.

But, nonetheless, L started the reverent steps towards the body in the bed. Listening to his feet clap the tile as he went. Watching the sheets slowly rise and fall as they lay above Lights chest.

When he was finally at the Light's side, he wasn't too sure of what he was supposed to do. The man was just laying there. He was not talking, or opening those splendid eyes. He was not moving to grab L's had; he was doing absolutely nothing. Light did absolutely nothing. Even his shaking hand had stilled.

Looking down at the previously shaking hand, L thought of one thing he could do. It was rather common, and seemed innocent enough. So, he went for it.

Slowly, and carefully, as not to disturb the sleeping beauty, L tenderly grabbed Lights hand into his own; squeezing his hand around the limp one as he rested their hands on the bed.

To L's surprise, though, Light's hand suddenly squeezed around his own. It was soft, and had very little strength behind it, but it obviously was a squeeze.

L studied Light expectedly, but no other reaction came. The hand went limp again, and Light remained just as unconscious as he had when L had just entered. Though, upon looking at his face, L smiled with relief to see the frown that had originally been there gone. Instead, the pale lips were in a comfortable line.

L stood next to the bed gazing down at Light. His hair was gone, and he was unconscious, but just as beautiful as ever. His hand was cold, but had finally started to warm after being held in his hand. L began to wonder if he was cold anywhere else. He wondered if Light might possibly need more blankets, or...simply him. Maybe he could get away with laying beside him in the bed. For such a small hospital, they certainly had rather large and accommodating beds.

Though, just as L began to bend over, contemplating if he was truly about to lay down beside him, his phone in his back pocket began to buzz silently.

He wished to ignore it, but knew who would be calling, and did not want to raise further suspicion. He still was not one hundred percent sure what he was going to do. All he knew was that he and Light could not remain in Japan. Not the way Light was now.

So, he reluctantly fished the phone out of his pocket, and precariously held it between his index finger and thumb up to his ear.

"Hello?"

"L, Ryuzaki. I sent the car to pick you and Yagami-kun up at the cemetery, but the driver called back replying that neither of you were there. I took the liberty to track you off your cell phone. May I ask why you are at the hospital?"

"Oh, Light-kun had a dizzy spell. He was reluctant, but since he had hit his head rather hard on the ground, I had him taken to the nearest hospital."

"Of coarse Ryuzaki. Would you like for me to send someone to pick the two of you up?"

_-'Dammit.'-_

"No, that will not be necessary. In fact, if you could, I would like to have two tickets reserved for a private jet to America. Final destination to Arizona. Phoenix, I believe. Light-kun and I have found a link to the Kira case in America, and we believe that one of the other Kira's is operating in Arizona."

--long pause--

"As you wish, Ryuzaki. But mind you, please be cautious. Yagami-kun, I'm sure will never act it, though I suspect he is quite liable to become depressed after such a event as his family passing. I ask that you be gentle, and do not ask too much of him for the time being. Allow him time to heal."

"I agree Watari, but this trip also has to do with Light-kuns well-being. I though it would not only be beneficial to the case, but also to give Light-kun a break. I believe it would be nice for him to experience another part of the world. Allow him space and time to sort through some things. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Very much so, Ryuzaki. I believe that is exactly what Yagami-kun shall need after such a traumatic event. Is there anything else you shall need?"

"Not at the moment, but thank you. I would like the tickets for a week from now."

"As you wish."

"Thank you."

L closed his cell phone, and placed it back into his pocket. The idea of going to America had been spontaneous. It had never come to mind before, but it seemed to be perfect.

L had been to Arizona several times before while working on a few serial killing cases, and quite enjoyed the state. He was not very fond of the heat, but enjoyed being in the mountains as he once had been with Watari. That was where he had learned to ski for the first time. It had been something he had always wanted to do. And seeing as how he had solved the case quickly, he had plenty of time before returning for a visit to the Whammy House. So Watari had taken him up to Mt.. Lemon to learn how to ski. And of coarse, he being L, picked it up rather quickly.

He hadn't the chance to visit the Grand Canyon, but was considering that as something he and Light could do, if all went well...that is.

L looked back down at Light, and did his best to put his day dreams away. Just false hope could not be trusted in a time like this. He would simply have to wait and see as to how Light would turn out. Though he was not the most patient person, he would be. For Light.

As much as L wanted to deny it, he was exhausted. Even after the little nap he had acquired due to his fainting spell, he was still quite tired. So, as gently as he could, he lowered himself down beside Light. Once the man didn't wake, he allowed himself to relax and fall prey to the sleep he had neglected the past week...not even considering that Light could wake up. Or that, soon...he would.

_**"Grand Theft Autumn, Where is Your Boy Tonight" **_

_**Fall Out Boy**_

_**Take This To Your Grave **__and __**My Heart Will Always Be The B-side To My Tongue**_

_**"When I wake up**_

_**I'm willing to take my chances on the hope I forget that you hate him more than you notice I wrote this for you.**_

_**You need him. I could be him**_

_**I could be an accident but I'm still trying.**_

_**That's more than I can say for him.**_

_**Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.**_

_**Maybe he won't find out what I know**_

_**You were the last good thing about this part of town.**_

_**Someday I'll appreciate in value**_

_**Get off my ass and call you**_

_**But for the meantime I'll sport my brand new fashion**_

_**of waking up with my pants off at 4:00 in the afternoon.**_

_**You need him, I could be him**_

_**I could be an accicent but I'm still trying.**_

_**That's more than I can say for him.**_

_**Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.**_

_**Maybe he won't find out what I know**_

_**You were the last good thing about this part of town**_

_**Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman**_

_**Maybe he won't find out what I know, you were the last good thing about this part of time**_

_**(Repeat)**_

_**Maybe he won't find out what I know, you were the last good thing about this part of town**_


	8. You may now ignore this chapter

Okay, okay---I'm very sorry to those I told that I'd have the chapter out a few days ago! I know this sucks even more because you expected this to BE the chapter--Sorry!!! But, things haven't gone as planned...like, me getting sick, and most likely having anemia(tested myself, and was positive, but it's not proven by a doctor yet)..along with my birthday kind of really sucking and me slipping into fit's of reminiscing. Oh well, bottom line, Leah is a fucktard. A now 16 year old fucktard (my birthday Sunday)..and I must tell ya, you guys are like my everything! Most of my friends are hopelessly self-absorbed and didn't give me shit or even say "Happy Birthday"--after I go out of my way to do things for them and all...god...I'm rambling. But, I promise, that as compensation for the long wait, it's going to be a VERY long chapter! That's why I'm not even done yet. Trust me..it's LONG. I have 15 pages worth typed, and I'm not even done...got a bit more to go...so, sorry...but I promise it will all be worth the wait!!!! And just so you guys know, I do plan on there being a yaoi chapter...in fact, expect one within the next three to four chapters! The next two..possibly three chapters are going to be really long, so they'll take me a while...but, I promise!!---I will not give up on this story yet! So, thank you all very much for being patient with me! Again, I can tell you how sorry I am for not having this done!


	9. Sugar Were Goin Down

Ello Lovely's! God, it's been so long since I've posted the last chapter, and I apologize from the bottom of my heart for that. Life has just seemed to go from 0 to 60 in less than two seconds. Like, all this CRAZY shit has happened..and just...yeah. Not going to get into that here...not the time, nor the place (though you could always read my blog on myspace...that just happens to be the place).

Um...not sure what all to say to you guys really...oh, yeah...this chapter was SUPPOSED to be longer and all, but I've kinda been farting around with it, and so it's just been sitting on my computer not getting worked on, and I figured I'd stop being such a damn sadist and give you guys at least the majority of the chapter, and as you can see, it's quite long. ...At least for me. So, maybe lenght and hopefully content can make up for time! Not sure how long it is on here, but it's like 20 something pages for my printer...god...just thought of this...but, the story has gotten rather fluffy...might need to add some drama...so...

**IF ANYONE HAS IDEAS OR SUGESTIONS, FEEL FREE TO PASS EM BY ME!---AND REVEIWS ARE WELCOME NO MATTER HOW LONG, SHORT, NICE, OR MEEN **(please don't be meen though...but a lil constructive critisism is highly welcomed)! --and starting now, I make a vow to reply to each and every review! If you anon. review though, if you leave your email address, I shall reply. So, never be scared to review! I don't know if you like the story if you don't!

(_Italisized words equal dream sequence..._**and please do not skip it, just as a hint, it kind of plays key to the plot.)**

**Plot/Summary**: Once again Raito loses his memories, but this time, they're not just of Kira. What is L to do when he finds himself holding all the peices? Better yet, what will the two of them do about this pesky new Kira?

**Warning**: This is going to transcend into a yaoi fic...oh...and be warned that I tend to like to throw in a lot of cuss words.

**Disclaimer**:I hold no claim over the Death Note series nor any of the following characters in this story. Nor do I own Fall Out Boy...but I DO know that Peter loves me! (yes peter loves me, yes peter loves me, yes peter loves me, his lyrics tell me so! think yes jesus loves me tune)

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

_**Chapter #4: "Sugar Were Goin Down"**_

His mind began to buzz attentively, and the darkness that clouded his eyes was invaded by the soft glow of white light beyond the black. His lips parted, and a soft exhale of air left, and was replaced by a groan. He wanted to open his eyes, or at least possibly lift up his head. But both seemed to be an impossible task. His eyelids felt as though they had been sewn shut, his head as if it were strapped down to..well, where ever he was, and whatever he was on.

He experimentally wiggled his fingers in his right hand. But, when he tried to lift his wrist, or for that matter his arm, neither would cooperate. They seemed to be pleased with their placement at the moment. So, he wiggled his toes. Again, a successful mission, but again, no movement response from the key ligaments. 

His head began to buzz louder, as the volume increased on it's own accord. He wished it would just shut up, and let him sleep. But, it seemed that not only the harsh buzzing, but the cold tingling in his arm would not allow him such pleasure. 

The nerves in his body began to respond even more clearly as the buzzing grew louder. His legs were quite comfortable, even though there was something that he could tell, inside of his nether region. As well, he could feel two sharp, itchy, almost tickling, spots on his arm. His hands balled, and he felt his knuckles resist, as if he needed to oil them to ease the joint pain. He become so consumed in trying to feel everything, he didn't even notice the extra warmth across his body, until it began to move.

His tightly closed eyes screamed to open as he felt something thin, warm, and solid shift a few inches down over his waist. A puff of warm, humid air hit the dip between his shoulder and neck. He even felt something like spiders silk brush over his cheek. It was soft, and in clumps, and it made him wish so desperately to open his eyes! 

The buzz grew even louder, and his stomach began to swirl around in violent circles. He begged his eyes to open, but they would not. He wanted to open his mouth and scream, to say something, to tell whatever it was to get off of him. But, his lips were sealed. 

"Mmm.." The thing beside him hummed. The buzz kept on intensifying, like it would keep increasing until his ear drums finally gave in to the pressure and burst. The way it grew, and grew, and grew. The way he was enable to do anything. He hated it. 

Then, without warning, one of the spots on his arm burst like a flame. Something was being spread inside of him, and he could feel cold, burning liquid run through his veins like a bursting damn. There was so much of the stuff. It hurt so damn much. His arm was on fire, and yet it was cool, and his veins only felt violated...and ...

The volume on the buzz finally began to go down. Second by second the intensity of it lessened. And second by second, he could feel less of his body. Though, as he tried to move his hand, it finally rose.

With that encouragement, he sprang open his eyes. All only to hear a piercing scream shoot through the air. He couldn't place the voice, but it sounded oh so familiar. Like he was supposed to know it. Yet he didn't. Though, the muscles surrounding his mouth shot out a quick flick of pain, before disappearing. His lips were open, but...was that his scream?

The, the _Thing _beside him jumped at the sudden high pitched scream in the air. The Thing stole it's arm (from what he could tell of the Thing, it was a arm) that had been placed across his torso. The Thing's long slender form rolled quickly off the side of the white mass of soft cotton. It made a loud thud as it landed, and emitted a soft hiss that sounded more like a gasp. 

He started to sit up, to try and get up. To get away from the Thing. He didn't know if the Thing was bad, or if it was good. Either way, he was not going to chance it. Whatever the Thing was, he was sure it was not supposed to be over him. 

But, alas, the Thing recovered quicker than he had expected. And just as he put a hand out to yank the discomfort from his arm, the Thing caught him by the wrist. It started to talk to him, saying something about staying calm, but all he wanted was to get away from the Thing and to make the pain stop. 

"You'll only make the pain worse if you take that out Ratio." He looked up at the Thing after what it had said. True, he had begun to feel better after the sharp thing that was invading his vein sent that unknown liquid through his veins. In fact, the buzzing had died down to mere background noise. To the point where he no longer noticed it as long as he didn't concentrate on it. But, what was it that the Thing had referred to him? Ratio...? What or who was Ratio? Was...was that him?

Suddenly, the twisting in his stomach that had ceased turned violent again. His eyes began to grow wide, and all he could do was stare into the eyes of the Thing. Such strange eyes. They were like giant hollow black mirrors. One could look in, but because of the blackness, they never had their picture returned. It was like a soul stealer.

"Who, what? What are you? Who am I? Where am I? What did you do to me? Why does it hurt! Tell me!" That voice was talking again. He finally figured, it must have been his. Whoever he was.

**xXxXxXxXxblack.is.the.new.bloodxXxXxXxXx**

L figured Light would react as such. What else was he to do, or even likely presume. He had just woken up from a drug induced coma to find a strange looking man curled up beside him in a hospital bed. True, he had enjoyed laying beside the man, but now felt rather bad for the shock it had caused him. Not to mention the rather large bump that would be on his head tomorrow due to the ungraceful backwards lunge off the bed.

But as L watched Lights helpless hazel eyes search into his dark blank eyes, he could feel nothing but compassion. He wanted to grab Light and hold him until it was all over. Until he could remember, until the pain stopped, until things went the way that they should. But truly, when had things ever gone the way they should since the first meeting with the young Yagami? Their first meeting, it seemed, had doomed him to automatic destruction and downfall. He knew that then, and knew it now.

"First off, that is quite rude of you. Inquiring what I am." L hated himself for being like this to Light at simply his first waking. But, he was unsure of what else to say really. He couldn't shower him with kisses and hugs. No, that would be inappropriate...no matter how tempting. So, really all that was left for him was to be the somewhat cold detective L he was commonly known as.

"I'm just as human as you are. Most definitely not as handsome as you are, but I am still quite human, I assure you. Your name is Yagami Light. You are currently in a hospital due to a minor concussion you received, and a rather large gash on the back of your head. I told you to be careful, while checking the warehouse, but you simply would not listen. While attempting to retrieve something out of the air vents, you lost your balance on the ladder and not so gracefully tumbled backwards. Nothing of my doing, I assure you. Though, what I assume will be of the most value to you is, that you have...amnesia. You will not remember who you are for quite some time. Though, tell me...do you remember anything? Anything at all?" L sat in the chair that was beside the bed, pulling his knees up into his normal sitting position, and placing his thumb to his lips. He watched as Light gave off a slight wince at the eye sore that was L.

"No.." The reply was hoarse. It sounded as if Light was on the verge of tears. "I have a family, right? Where are they? Shouldn't..shouldn't they be the ones here or something? I mean...I'm sure you are a great friend and all.." Light's voice trailed off. It grew softer with every word spoken, and L knew it wouldn't take long until he was back asleep.

"I'm sorry, but...you were orphaned young. As was I. And yes, you could say we are _great _friends, I guess. Hmm...but I'll leave that one to be explained for later." L smiled at the quickly withdrawing Light, only to smirk wider when he saw realization hit him. Oh, even in this situation, Light was such a clever boy.

"Are you implying that we...that we are...that I am? I'm..I'm... gay?" L quickly noticed the disgust on Light's face. That and the need not to piss Light off helped to wipe the smirk off his face. 

"I wouldn't exactly call what you are, "gay"...but yes, we are..." L didn't have to finish, so he didn't. Light had nodded off, finally. His scared, doe-ish hazel eyes blurrily blinked shut. Only to stay that way as he slipped into the drug induced sleep. 

L watched as the youth laid out on the bed slept. Nothing about the ethereal boy seemed peaceful at that moment, but he was nonetheless beautiful. If L had been a poet, he would have summed the boy up as a beautiful disaster. This fragile porcelain lion, that no matter how ferocious or how proud, beautiful, and in charge he seemed; Light was still made of easily broken porcelain. With even the smallest shove, he could be shattered to pieces. 

Though, no one ever in Lights life had dared to so much as poke at his seemingly unbreakable mold. Everyone thought Light was made of the toughest steal. Something that no thing, nor man could break. But, L knew the truth. He was the one person who knew just how fragile Light truly was. He knew how easily he could shatter. He also knew, that he was the one and only person who could make Light shatter.

But at that moment, all L wanted to do was build the strongest wall as a barrier to shield Light. To make sure no fingerprint marred his beautiful existence. To make sure that no being, mortal or immortal, touched Light again.

An old part of L that would never die screamed that this was wrong. That even if Light had been controlled by some other worldly thing, Light was still at fault. That Light should still be punished for his crimes. But, another more selfish, and loud part screamed in defense. 

Light meant everything to him at this point. It wasn't as if L had any family or friends left in the world. He had Watari, but how much longer did the old man have anyway? Years? And now Light seemed to be in the same predicament. He had no family left. He had no friends, lest L. Misa clung to Light, but it was evident that Light did not return her feelings. Be it the way he ignored her, or the way he kissed him. But, either way you looked at it, Light did not love Misa. 

It all made L wonder that if this blank slate Light would love Misa. Would being freed of memory make him see things entirely different? Or, would he still despise Misa?

L knew it sounded extreme and entirely selfish, him taking Light away with him to another country. He wasn't even sure Light remember how to speak English, or Spanish for that matter (a language that he would need being so close to the Mexican border). But, the farther away from his past, from his sins, the safer Light was. 

L began to laugh, as insane as it sounded. But, he felt so...so human. 

"This is all your fault Yagami-kun...I was just a lifeless robot before you came. Now look at me. I'm terribly human. Too human." L smiled sadly as he sat in the stiff blue cushioned chair beside the hospital bed.

He let out a long sigh, and let his head roll back until he felt the hard and uncomfortable top edging of the chair digging into his head. It was so annoying and unsettling how he could do nothing. There was no longer a Kira case to solve, due to the fact he had caught Kira. The helpless God was laying right before him, asleep. 

He could not sleep. He had already done so not too long ago. It had been a rather long amount of sleep compared his normal insomnia tendencies. It had also been a rather pleasant sleep. All thanks to the warm boy he had curled into. 

But, he could do nothing with the boy. For, Light was asleep, knocked out on some super sleeper drugs. He didn't expect him to be up for at least another six hours. 

So, what was he to do? Think? At the moment, his thoughts brought him no comfort. They were not methodical, and they certainly were not coming up with some brilliant conclusion to the dilemma that he was in. 

No, L had nothing to do. He was bored. He was beyond bored. He was simply out of his mind miserably bored. Every thought in his head negative, every activity to waste time on gone, every chance of entertainment lessened to the plump nurse roaming the halls.

L lifted his head away from the hard chair top as not to cause stiff neck. His eyes scanned the room over and took notice of the rising sun, peeking golden rays through the blinds that covered the likely sealed windows.

L stared at the window, watching as the color and brightness increased. Even though he was not looking to sleep, he was neither looking to be annoyed by the bright little rising sun. Besides, it wouldn't be all that comfortable for a drugged sleeping man to have to endure harsh light hitting his eyelids.

L stood up and walked slowly around Lights bed over to the window. He could feel the soft coolness that radiated off the glass pane. Curiously, he lifted one of the blinds revealing bright sunshine, and a icy window. He leaned his face close to the little margin of window. The iciness of the window rolling onto his cheeks, lips, and nose as he did so. 

He blew a hot breath onto the cold glass, watching as it fogged up quickly. Then, watched as moments later, the little cloud of his breath faded away. 

He blew onto the pane again. This time, he traced two "L"'s with his right index finger onto the middle of his little breath cloud, followed by a shakily drawn heart around the two "L"'s.

He dropped the blind that had been held with his left index finger and thumb, and quickly whipped the dark blue curtains to surround the intruding sunlight. Seriously though, why did everything in hospitals have to be so damn blue? The chairs, the curtains, the god damn walls. Everything was blue! Why couldn't they try a cheery green, or happy yellow? Or maybe a bright red, or rich mahogany? He simply did not get the reasoning behind all the damn blue. All of it was making him hate the color.

"Excuse me, Mr. Davis?" L turned around and found the plump nurse from when he had first arrived standing at the door entrance.

"Yes?" L stared at the woman from his position in front of the window. 

"If you do not mind, I will just check Yagami-sans vitals then be on my way." L nodded, though in all truth, he did not like the presence of that woman being there. It invaded his space, his privacy. He was in the middle of a devastatingly horrid situation that seemed to be giving him no clues as to what would happen next. He was sulking, and he wasn't too proud to admit it. And he did not want that woman in there while he sulked. It just ruined the mood. 

L watched and sulked from his spot at the window as the woman went over to the limp Light and began to check him. First, she took his blood pressure. L winced at just the thought of it. He hated the way the thing squeezed his arm. Even though he was rather lithe, and did not have a whole lot of arm for it to squeeze, it still somehow managed to make him utterly uncomfortable.

The woman then made notes on a chart concerning the many numbers in red that showed on one of the many boxes that were hooked to Light. Then, the woman made a quick check of all the little things connected to Light. All the liquid filled bags checked and one replaced. Then the woman lifted the blankets to reveal the catheter bag that hung below Light. The sight alone made L wince. Just the thought of that thing...inside him that way...

The woman quickly lowered the sheets, hiding the bag that was filled a third of the way with yellow liquid. She wrote a few more things down, and as she began to turn and walk out the door, she looked back at L.

"Is there anything I can get you?" L nodded. He needed something to get him by.

"Yes, if you wouldn't mind. A cup of your darkest roast coffee with six cubes of sugar and two quarter inches of milk. And, some pastries, perhaps...that is, if the hospital supplies such things. Also, are there any medical books nearby that would okay me reading through?" 

The plump woman just stared, her lips slightly parted and a dumbstruck look on her face.

"I'll go check." With that, the woman was gone, and L knew she wasn't coming back. Not with his coffee, and not with his pastry. Pity.

**---- Sometime around midnight, beginning the second day ----**

_Ratio peered around the brightly colored yellow walls. He could hear loud, high pitch shrieks coming from somewhere. But, they didn't sound like that of someone shrieking for fear...more like, play. He shrugged the thought off quickly, and began examining the room. _

_It was just an average looking room. It had four yellow walls, a short wooden bookshelf centered against one wall. A big chest rested against another wall, and there was a small table with equally small chairs set near the center of the room. The floor beneath his socked feet was a soft beige color. Though, it wasn't the type of soft shag carpet that was soft, and fun to squish around your toes. But, it was a flat cheap carpet, like that of a school or something._

_There were two doors in the room. Ratio gave one on the wall beside the bookshelf his attention, and began taking cautious steps over to it._

_"Raito-kun! There you are! We've been looking everywhere for you!"_

_Raito spun around to the soft female voice that had spoken to him. She had on a plain pair of worn looking jeans and a soft caramel colored hooded jacket. Her salt and pepper hair swirled into a bun behind her small fragile looking head. She wore a kind smile, but Raito still felt at somewhat unease._

_"Come on Raito-kun, don't you want to go play with the other children?" She smiled and tilted her head a bit._

_"No, they are not worthy of me. I am far more superior than those unintelligent brats." Raito had no clue why he had just said what he said. But, if the shocked look on the older woman's face was any indication, he was in trouble._

_"Why do you always have to be so mean Raito-kun! sniff.. I worked so hard on making this for you! And...and all you can say is that it isn't good enough? hic Will anything every be good enough? Will I ever be good enough?" The short girl with shiny black ringlets ran off, leaving the miniature chocolate cheesecake in his hands. _

_Raito looked around, wondering where he was yet again. Hadn't he just been ...but, where had he been? He couldn't tell._

_"You know, if you keep turning down the ladies like this, at one point they'll completely give up on you. She was pretty cute too. Why can't you just humor them for once, ay Yagami?"_

_Raito looked to his side where the teenage boy spoke to him. The dark brown brows were furrowed and a frown was firmly pressed onto his lips. His shaggy brown hair spewed in random places on top of his head. All these features fitting for the khaki carpenter shorts he had one, along with the dark green thermal long sleeve shirt. _

_"Because the female race is immature." Raito said, again not able to believe the words that spilled like vile from his lips._

_"Seriously, Yagami, ever thought that it is you that could possibly be the immature one? Or is it that you just don't care?" The brown haired boy inclined his head to him, showing a sad quizzical look in his dark chestnut eyes._

_"No Hiroshi, if there is anyone more immature than those twits, it would be you. Who was it that made a three on the math quiz last week?" Raito felt his eyebrow tweak up against his own will. A wry smile building upon his lips._

_"You're a real asshole Yagami, you know that. I hope you realize one day how much your missing out on, and grow a pair." With that the brown eyed boy walked away. Raito felt like calling out to him, saying that he was sorry. But, was he? Did he really say those things? But, how could he! That wasn't what he thought! He thought it was honorable of the cute girl to make him such a lovely looking cake! He thought it admirable of the boy Hiroshi to be a good friend and call him out on his mistake, and tolerate him until it became too much._

_But, nothing popped into his head. He stood there, not even trying to look at the room or people surrounding him. He simply stared down at the cheesecake, and wondered why there seemed to be some significance to it. He knew he didn't like sweets all that much. But, something about looking at the sugary cake in his hands made his stomach flutter. It was something he knew he should remember, and he knew it was in the back of his head somewhere. But no matter how he beckoned it to come, it never did._

_"Are you sure your ready for this, Yagami-kun? You don't have to look if you don't want. They have already been identified."_

_Raito looked around. The grey haired man in front of him was dressed in a stark white lab coat that covered a expensive looking suit. The mans soft brown eyes gleaming with sympathy behind the thin metal framed glasses._

_A chill ran down Raito's spine. He looked around and noted the long, tall walls covered in what seemed to be numerous metal drawers. The room was freezing, but he did his best not to show it. He simply hoped this wasn't what he was thinking it was._

_"I said, I want to see her." Raito's lips once again moved on their own will. _

_The tall man in the lab coat nodded, switching his direction from in front of Raito, to in front of the cold gleaming metal. It almost seemed that the man was eager to look away from him though. But, why? _

_The man pulled the handle that protruded from the metal drawer, and out came a long cot looking thing. He could see metal from around the edges of a white blanket that lay over whatever was underneath._

_"Are you sure, Yagami-kun? Like I said, you don't have to do this. I can slide her back in right now, and you won't have to see." The man was empathetically looking at him...and for some reason, Raito hated it._

_"Just lift the God damn sheet." Raito could feel the arrogant sneer in his voice. He could easily see the way it made the tall, kind looking man shudder and quickly look away. He hated that he had that effect without his choosing. But, all thoughts faded as he saw what lay beneath the white cloth._

_Slowly, the man had lifted the top bit of the blanket, pulling it back to reveal a strangely familiar looking girl. She looked no older than early teens. She had long dark brown hair that fanned out around her blueish white face like a dark halo. Even though the blanket was pulled only just below her neck, Raito could easily see the start of a angry looking red line of cut and sewn flesh._

_"Kira"_

_Raito's head shot up from staring at the girl to look at the man beside him. But, it didn't seem that the man had said anything._

_"Kira"_

_This time, Raito had been looking at the man while he heard the soft whispering voice echo that name in his head. It sounded so familiar, yet so insulting. Wait--wasn't Kira the word for...for killer?_

_Raito looked down at the girl on the table, and felt a wave of adrenaline begin to pulse through his veins. His heart seemed to quicken with every new beat. He didn't know why, but the room felt like it had began to grow warm. So warm in fact, that Raito could feel small beads of sweat begin to form at his brow. _

_"Kira"_

_The girls eyes suddenly flew open, sending Raito to leap back, ready to run. He looked over to the man, but he no longer was there. Only the girl on the table, whose red orbs were staring him down from the side view she had._

_"KIRA"_

_Raito closed his eyes quickly, hoping that he was just hallucinating. But, when his eyes opened, it seemed he had been. The girl was laying still on the table, eyes closed, unmoving._

_"So, you really are dead, huh? Too bad. You could have been of some use, I guess. But, now we'll never know." Again, it was something that spilled from his mouth of which he had no control over. He didn't even know what it meant, for Christ sake._

_"KIRA KIRA KIRA"_

_Raito's eyes widened as the girls eyes burst open to a nearly impossible size. Her eyes beaming red like brimstone. Her mouth opened, and the hot, thick smell of death began to choke Raito. He staggered back, but was only met with another surprise._

_The girl on the long table leaped at him like some unearthly creature that had come straight from hell. It knocked him down onto the hard cold tiled floor, making his head spin as he felt a rush of warm liquid spread behind his head. _

_The girls eyes didn't blink once as she grabbed his neck with a vice grip. Raito could feel the skin under the hands burning, melting and charring the skin, then the flesh, all down to the bone. He would have screamed, had there been any air. But, there was none. The glowing red eyes chained his own inside, the manic smile spreading as he slowly began to wither. Her mouth parted, and loud screams filled the air. They were all different, and all ear-splitting. Some were the high pitch screams of a child, others of men, of woman. Raito soon found he even recognized his own scream._

_"Kira"..._

_The girl disappeared suddenly, but the screams remained, growing louder and stronger by the seconds. It was overwhelming, how many different screams there were, how much pain and emotion was held inside of them. Raito wanted to block it all out. His hands instinctively went to cover his ears. He tried to swallow, but found it a impossible task. He was choking, and the screaming wasn't stopping...the screaming wouldn't stop._

**xXxXxXxXxblack.is.the.new.bloodxXxXxXxXx**

L's eyes shot open. He hadn't even realized he had dozed off until he noticed the complete darkness that covered the room. Only a soft white moonlight filling the room.

L looked over to Light, and noticed something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Light's face was twisted in a painful knot, his hands shaking violently, and his knees pointed in the air as they shook as well. L watched as Light pulled his hands to cover his ears. His mouth opened, and he noticed Light wasn't breathing.

L jumped from the seat that was beside Lights bed, and began to panic as he heard the loud, fast paced sounds coming from the monitor. He wasn't sure of what was happening, but he knew he had to get help. 

Just as L got to the door frame, he heard Lights bed sheets ruffle. He turned around to catch as Lights head jerked back, and his back rose off the sheets. He heard the small squeaking from Lights gaping mouth. The hands on his ears now clawing viscously at them.

L ran over to Light, allowing the natural instincts that came along with the growing adrenaline. He grabbed Light's wrists, trying to stop him from scratching his ears off. Already long, angry red lines were visible on the pale skin, some even bleeding. He noticed because of the proximity that Light's eyes were rapidly fluttering from underneath. The muscles in Light's outstretched neck tight and visible. L watched as a swallow tried to force it's way down Light's throat, unsuccessful.

"Light-kun! Light! Wake up! Please, it is just a nightmare, please!" L watched as Light continued. 

Despite L's firm grip on Light's wrists, the strong unconscious boy managed to tear them away and begin to scratch at his ears again. His mouth grew wider, and finally, a sound came out of it.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Light-kun! Light! Wake up, it's me, L! It's Ryuzaki Light-kun! Your safe, open your eyes!" L watched as Light began to twist and turn, his body beginning to shake violently.

L watched with horror as tears began to slip down Light's pale cheeks, and began to thrash even harder. But, he didn't know what to do. He couldn't think of anything that he himself could do in that moment. But, he was too scared to leave him in search of help. What if Light died? Just what kind of nightmare was Light having that had this effect on him?

**xXxXxXxXxblack.is.the.new.bloodxXxXxXxXx**

_In the midst of the screaming, Raito could hear a soft cackling laugh. As time went by, it grew louder, and louder. It nearly massed the screams. The volume nearly becoming more than he could take. _

_"Raito-kun...you want the screams to stop, don't you?" The same voice that had been previously cackling was calling out to him, and it knew his name._

_"Do you give it up? Will you forfeit your ownership of the Death Note? Make any type of sound, anything, and I'll take it as a yes. Then, the screaming will stop. All you have to do is.."_

_"Eah.." Raito managed to get out a soft sigh that held something of a jumbled word. He didn't care at this point, he was desperate. The ear-splitter, soul shattering screams had become more than he could take. The burned flesh at his neck seemed to be growing as well, along with the strong stench of death._

_"Nice knowing you then, enjoy putting the pieces back together, Raito. That is, if you can." _

_With that, the screams suddenly went silent. Almost too silent. The pain still seared through his body, but something else was beginning to roll over him. _

_Images suddenly began to flash underneath his eye lids. A teenage girl, the one that was on the table; a short, middle aged woman with soft laugh lines; a tall burly man with a strong build and a weathered face. The three people seemed so familiar to him. But, as the images kept bursting behind his eyelids, a sharp pain began to fill his chest, and he again could hear screams. _

_The images didn't seem like they would stop. There were so many faces, and he didn't know who the hell any of them were. _

_"You killed them, Raito." The voice was deep, and it boomed over the screams. It was completely unfamiliar to him._

_"Your family, you killed them too. Do you understand...Kira. You. Killed. Them. Every single one of them. You killed your mother, your sister, even your father. What do you think of yourself, Raito? Aren't you glad I took that pesky notebook from you? Now I can pick up from where you left off."_

_The words coming from the smooth voice ran like acid into his ears. It sent tremors down his body, and the desire to puke the contents of his body was growing. He had killed them. He killed them. He killed his sister. His killed his father. He killed his mother. He, Yagami Raito...was a killer. Kira. But...he couldn't be..._

**xXxXxXxXxblack.is.the.new.bloodxXxXxXxXx**

As it turned out, L hadn't the need to rush out to find medical help. Light's screaming had done the trick in attracting the attention of every nurse that was on their half of the hospital.

"Quick, we need to get him a sedative." A tall copper gray haired man stood in front of Light, evaluating his status. The two nurses around him were squawking around like a bunch of ruffled hens. But, thankfully, one did retrieve a syringe with a clear substance that the doctor took from her immediately.

With the syringe in his leathery hands, the doctor quickly shot the liquid into the IV tube entrance. The clear liquid slipped down the tube, and slowly entered Lights hand via the needle that connected the hand and the IV.

Once the syringe had been emptied, L watched as the doctor stepped away from the bed. One of the nurses were saying something sympathetic to him, and was leaning all over his right side, but he paid her no mind. He mournfully watched as Lights muscles began to loosen, and as he slumped back onto the bed. He seemed still now, and after a few more long seconds, his breathing evened out. 

"He did these?" L looked at the doctor as the man observed the bleeding scratch marks on Light's ears and neck. L was certain the question was rhetorical, but answered him nonetheless.

"Yes. I believe he must of had a night terror. Could the pain meds have caused him to hallucinate in his dream though?" The man didn't look at L, but nodded his head.

"Yes. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. Yun, please clean Yagami's scrapes, and bandage them up as well. And in the morning we'll tell Yagami's doctor...Dr.?" The man looked at the chart he had taken from one of the nurses. "Dr. Houlzhauer. We might want to consider putting him on a different pain medicine. It's possible that this could have been a allergic reaction. If it is, the sedative will help it a bit. But, he should be knocked out for at least six or so hours. If he wakes up before Dr. Houlzhauer gets here, find me. I'd like to make sure that Yagami is monitored." The man finally looked at L, looking for some type of reply. L simply nodded.

"God, he's covered in sweat. I'll have to clean him up, change the sheets, and change Yagami's clothes." The nurse named Yun said, staring pointedly at L. So, his little secret obviously wasn't exactly held at the highest regard.

"Fine, fine. Well then, follow me Mr..um, what is your name?" 

"Davis, Frank Davis." L sighed as he watched Light sleeping solidly on the bed.

"Well then, Mr. Davis, if you'd like I can show you to the little convenient store. It's just one floor down. They should have some beverages and food there. At breakfast time, they normally have donuts brought in. The best coffee too." The man smiled at L, and L did his best to pull his lips up to return the action, but his lips stayed glued in a straight line. 

"Thank you." That was all L said, and that was all he really needed to say. Light, from what he could tell, was peacefully asleep. He had medically trained nurses around him to take care of him. L thought it wouldn't be too bad if he left to get a bite to eat. It was one in the morning, or so the clock on the wall said. And L was damn hungry for something sweet. If he didn't get sugar in his system ASAP...he would most likely end up in a hospital bed beside Light.

**xXxXxXxXxblack.is.the.new.bloodxXxXxXxXx**

L looked up at the clock on the wall. "6.47, AM". He hadn't gotten any sleep since Light awoke asking him all those damned questions. Though, L knew he would have been the same way. He would have fought heaven and hell (if they exist) to stay awake and find out the facts; to know who he was and what was going on. So, it was no surprise that Light had been the same way.

What did come as a surprise, though, was the strange nightmare Light had. Never in the time that L had observed Light, nor in the time he was chained to him, had he ever seen the man have such a strong nightmare. In fact, he was almost certain he had never even witnessed Light have a nightmare at all. So, one now out of the blue was rather strange. Though, the pain meds they had hooked up to Lights still, sleeping body were strong. Possibly even strong enough to induce such a dream that swallowed Light, removing him from reality.

"7:00, AM" L wasn't sure whether or not Light would be waking soon, but he needed to get food. His stomach had began to clench and make odd gurgling sounds despite the bag of potato chips he had inhaled after the doctor, he found out to be Dr. Burtman, took him to the small store near the entrance of the hospital. His eyes threatened to droop, and L knew that would not be a good thing. He needed to stay awake, to be there when Light woke up. He needed to be there when Light woke up with the questions he no-douptedly would have.

L looked over at Light. His chest rose at a normal pace for a sleeping man, and all the machines signaled he was doing fine. L told himself it would be okay if he slipped out a few minutes. Nothing bad would happen. Besides, the place that delivered donuts would be here by now. The warmer and fresher the donuts were, the better.

**xXxXxXxXxblack.is.the.new.bloodxXxXxXxXx**

L slipped back into the room, making sure to close the door quietly. Though, such a task was not exactly easy when one was juggling a warm box of a dozen donuts in one hand, and a steaming cup of coffee doused in sugar and cream. Just the smell of the sugar seemed to be enough to make L high. He could already feel his brain begin to buzz, and his nerves kick in full force. Though, it was all merely a taste for what he was about to experience...ah, the euphoria of sugar.

L sat the cup of coffee on the small table beside Light, and positioned the box of donuts on top of his knees. The box was still warm, and that warmth ran from it's cardboard domain into his achy knees. It was definitely not good on his knees or anything else to be sitting in the stiff hospital chairs. But, it was that or the floor, and if he sat on the floor, then he would not be able to watch Light as easily. And that simply would not do.

As L opened the lid and began to pull out one of his sugary confections, he heard the sheets to Light's bed begin to ruffle. When he looked over to the sleeping man, he saw the most magnificent show of beauty he had ever seen.

Light slowly opened his eyes, almost warily as if scared of what he might see. But, once they were open, L took notice of their doe-ish innocence. It was like a new born baby opening it's eyes for the very first time. The hazel in his eyes shone brilliantly as they turned to look at L.

**xXxXxXxXxblack.is.the.new.bloodxXxXxXxXx**

"So, all my family is really dead, huh?" Raito's voice was soft and hoarse, but most definitely audible.

"Yes. They have all passed." 

"What is your name? You never told me...that's quite rude, you know." Raito closed his eyes and breathed in deep. He was still quite tired.

"While around the hospital personal, I would appreciate it if you called me Frank, or maybe Mr. Davis. But, you can call me Ryuzaki."

Raito opened his eyes to stare at the strange man. Why would this guy want him to address him differently around the hospital workers? What was the big deal? By the way he worded his sentence, it seemed that neither names were his true name. So, what exactly was the strange man hiding?

"Why the different names? If I'm your...your, your "boyfriend" or whatever..." Raito blushed and looked away from the man who was taking big bites out of the donut in his hand. "What are you? Like, a criminal or in the witness protection program? Or do you just-"

"I'm a detective." The man interrupted. "You are as well. You normally use your given name, but I have always chosen to take more precautions on such subject. I always use an alias. It's all for my protection. It would not be safe if someone were to know my name." The man paused, and Raito looked back over to him. The man was no longer staring at him, but rather concentrating on the half eaten donut as if it held great knowledge that he couldn't understand.

"O-okay.." Raito sighed. "That is understandable I suppose. So, how did we...you know?"

The man tilted his head as he looked up from the donut. "I know what?"

Raito exasperatedly rolled his eyes with a soft sigh. "How did we meet? How did we..we get together?" Raito closed his eyes and turned his head. He hated asking these questions. They felt so awkward. But, he'd rather ask now then to never know at all.

"We worked on a case together and hit it off, I suppose. You were the first real friend I had ever had...so, I guess.."

Raito opened his eyes and nodded. "So, have we...?"

"Had sex? No. Not yet." Raito watched as the man finished the donut and reached over to the table to pick up his cup. Steam rolled off the sides of the cup as he held it to his lips and took a few big gulps.

"So, where do I live?" The man looked back over to him as he lifted the box on the floor to grab another donut.

"You reside with me. I have ownership of a building in town that is the headquarters of the investigation team as well as a housing facility."

"So, is that where we will be going to? After I get out?" The man took a bite of his donut and another swig of what Raito guessed was coffee.

"No. We will not be returning there. I've come to the conclusion that it would be better for you and your recovery if we were to go somewhere..more, peaceful. Due to a few things going on as of recent I find it unsafe for either of us to stay here. I have things arranged so that we can leave the country as soon as your released." The man quieted then. Raito had expected him to at least say where they would be going, but the man just sat there with his legs pressed to his chest; arms sitting on his knees as he silently ate his second donut.

"So, where is it that we'll be going?" The man stopped mid-chew and looked him straight in the eye. It was strange, and gave Raito goose bumps. The man had dark eyes that looked like they were coal, rather than brown. Which, he rationalized, had to be the actual color. He had never heard of ...wait...had he ever heard of coal colored eyes? Fuck, he didn't even know what color eyes he had.

"What color are my eyes?" He asked. Not even knowing such a simple fact about oneself made him feel stupid, desperate, and as if he wanted to cry.

"Hazel. They are a very lovely shade of hazel, Raito. I'm sorry, but I do not feel as though I should tell you where we are going as of yet. Too soon. I will tell you, I promise you that. But, I must hold that information to myself for now. For safety reasons, of course." 

Raito frowned and scrunched his brows together. His eye lids were growing heavy, but he was far from done asking questions. He wanted to know everything about himself, and about everyone else. He knew simple facts. Such as they were in Japan. He knew that he was in a hospital, and he remembered the first conversation he had had with the man named, Ryuzaki was it? As far as he knew, he could remember basic motor skills and reasoning skills. But, all knowledge of himself and others was just one giant blur. It was like a word on the tip of his tongue. He knew what it was, but it just would not come to him. 

"What color hair do I have?" 

"Auburn." Raito raised an eyebrow. But, wouldn't he be...?

"Yes, auburn hair is not a normal Asian hair color, I'll admit. But, it suits you. If it were not for your traditional almond shaped eyes, it would be easy to assume that you are of English descent. I still find it safe to assume that you do have English ancestry. Simply being your recessive traits won over the dominate. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. I've even witnessed a African American couple who had a very Caucasian baby. Neither parent had been sleeping around, it was simply genetics. Very interesting, wouldn't you say?"

Raito nodded. "Yeah, I guess it is. Then you are.."

"I am English. As far as I know, I was born in England, and then raised in one of the orphanages there that was created for gifted young children. Are you tired, Raito? You really should sleep as much as you can. The more rest you can get the faster you will recover."

"I don't care. I just want to know." Raito's voice started to crack. His mouth felt and tasted as if he had been sucking on steel wool. But, he was persistent in the fact that he wanted to know. He needed to know. Not just who he was, but who this other man was. From what he had gathered, this man was something to him. This man was someone he was..dare he say, romantically involved with. At that though, he tried to picture himself kissing the other man. But, all that produced was a blank image and a pink blush.

"What is it you want to know, Raito." The man had set his donut down and was staring at him. Raito kept his head turned so he was looking directly into the mans eyes. 

"I just want to know who I am. Who you are. It-it's scary...not knowing." Raito felt his eyes heat up, but he refused to allow himself to cry. He already had the wide eyed man staring sympathetically at him, and he didn't need to worry him anymore.

"How about I make a deal with you, Raito. You sleep and don't ask anymore questions for the remainder of the day, and tomorrow I will answer any and every question you have."

Raito closed his eyes and nodded. Before he could even realize what was happening, he was fast asleep.

**xXxXxXxXxblack.is.the.new.bloodxXxXxXxXx**

L looked down at the half eaten donut that sat atop the box. He suddenly had no appetite. The pain and sadness that Light's eyes had held was so deep and immense. He could tell the boy who was so used to knowing everything was now nothing but a clueless child. Light had no knowledge of himself or others. But, he definitely had reasoning skills still in tact. That was good. That was very good. It meant that recovery would not be too hard, and that Light had a great possibility that he would remember more things as time goes bye. 

L stood from his chair beside Lights bed. He hovered over the mans sleeping face, relishing how peaceful and lovely it was. It was almost like the evil Kira side hadn't even existed. Like all that had just been a horrible nightmare. Like Light had really only had a minor accident and not hit his head on his own parents headstone. It was all as if L could just live this perfect pretend life with his love. But, reasoning told L that reality would eventually catch up to them. But, L would run as long as he could, and never stop until he had no other possible choice.

L leaned in closer to Light, and as softly as he could kissed his forehead. After seeing that he had not awoken, L went further, and chastely kissed his lips. Raising his head to peer above Light, L began to stroke the soft skin of Light's cheek with his finger tips.

"I love you, Light." L smiled before standing up straight and walking over to the window. Small rays of golden sunlight were leaking out from the white Venetian blinds stating it was early morning. But, to L it felt like a cold winters night. Without Light, that was all it seemed to be. 

L lifted one of the blinds to peer out into the morning light of the city. The golden orange rays shone brilliantly on the metal structured buildings, glinting like diamonds. And even though L had seen such a scene so many times before, he couldn't help but wonder if Light would remember seeing one. Would Light remember anything that he had seen or experienced? From what he had experienced earlier, he wouldn't. 

L sighed and let the thin metal blind sit back into it's proper spot. After pulling the thick curtains closed, he slid down to the floor. He could still see Light from his position, and that comforted him. He pulled his legs into his normal crouch, and set his chin on the top of his knees. Today was going to be a long, lonely day.

---- **middle of the night, beginning third day ----**

_Raito could see everything around him so clearly. As if looking through the clearest glass, he could see every detail. The room was small, but it's four light yellow colored walls made it feel warm. The soft plush dark green carpet...he could feel it squish beneath his toes. The feeling was so pleasant. Almost as pleasant as the soft breeze that floated across his face._

_He looked to the side at the open window. Bright sunlight shone mixing with the vibrant hues of the crayon green grass and picturesque sky. And oh, what a sky it was. Like a soft blue blanket with cotton balls thrown randomly across it's abyss. The infinite smell of spring filling his senses, making him want to squeal. _

_The door to the room opened, but no one came in. Raito thought it odd, but just kept watching as the door swung wider to reveal the same nothingness. He glanced around the room again, taking note of the small table and chair set at one side of the room. On a separate wall, a small wooden shelf held many thin books. While, on another wall sat a small, yet soft looking bed. The quilt covering it had a plain white background, but with small colorful trains littering it. The pillows bore the same design. _

_The door creaked, though it didn't look as if it had moved. Raito began walking towards it in curiosity. Though, before reaching the door frame, he looked down and behind him at a few pieces of puzzle scattered around. It surely wasn't enough to solve a entire picture. So, where were the rest of the pieces?_

_Raito did not concern himself too much with the small cardboard pieces, and began to make his way through the door. But, he couldn't see anything...it was all ...dark. He could hear a woman's voice, but it seemed distant. It sounded as if it was calmly saying his name, all before beginning to shout it in hysteria. _

**xXxXxXxXxblack.is.the.new.bloodxXxXxXxXx**

L was going crazy, or so he told himself. For the remainder of the day as Light had slept, L had paced the length of the room over, and over, and over, and over again. He had done it so many times, that he knew the exact number of steps it took to cross the room 150 times. He had done so more, but stopped counting after he hit his first thousand. 

He felt pathetic. He had In fact told Light to sleep, to even sleep the day away if that was what it took. But, he didn't expect for his mind to attack him so wholly. Questions began to form out of nowhere, questions he knew he wouldn't even have to worry about answering. Yet, every possible thing that could go wrong with the situation he and Light were now in ran through his calculating mind. 

L wanted to gain Light's trust, and he hoped to do so quickly. Everything was riding on that Light could, and would love him. Everything was riding on that Light would not remember his evil deeds of Kira. Not now, not ever. For, those would be the memories that would condemn them to the fate that they deserved. But, wasn't L smart enough to outwit fate? He had so far. He was sure and certain that from Lights reaction that day that it was he that should have been dead. Light obviously was gong to get the Death Note to kill him with. But, L was not aware of Light knowing his name...that arose many more questions.

Should L even tell Light his real name? Would it be safe for Light to know...would it be safe for L if anyone knew? Let alone Light, the former if not still Kira. But...

L's thoughts were interrupted as he watched Light stir. After glancing at the clock, he realized that it was late in the morning. Three in the morning to be exact. He just prayed that this time, it would not be another nightmare that would haunt Light.

**xXxXxXxXxblack.is.the.new.bloodxXxXxXxXx**

The dark nothingness slowly began to fade, and Raito could make out the expanse of his hospital room. Though, somehow, everything seemed more menacing and twisted. There was no light peeking from the blinds, no image that he could make out. All he could do was hear. Hear the sound of soft skin clapping quietly against the tile floor. Hear the beeping of the machines attached to him. Hear the soft breath of the man he knew to be standing there in the room.

But, there was something about the darkness that just...that made him feel empty. It made him feel like a child, lost and alone in the dark, begging and searching for his mothers open arms. For his mothers soft voice to lull him into a peaceful soft place. For her to wrap her arms around him, and shield him from the darkness. That horrible, terrible swallowing beast...that infinite black hole..

"Please..." Raito pathetically squeaked as tears began to flow from his hot, liquid filled hazel eyes. The warmth from his tears trailing down his cheek before leaving the wet spot empty and cold. 

"Raito? Are you okay?" Raito heard the man in the room speak to him, but he didn't want to answer. He wanted to be alone to wallow in his own pit of darkness, because he had nothing left. He had no mother to hold him. He only had his weak body, weak mind, and broken spirit.

"Raito..." The name was but a soft whisper on his cheek. He could now feel the man and all his warmth standing beside him. But, it didn't make him feel safe..only more lost.

"Raito, was it your dream? Please tell me. I only want to help you." Raito whimpered as the man took his hand from under the covers into his own. The mans other hand going to gently wipe the tears that continued to roll down his cheeks.

"Was it...about your family?" Raito choked, coughing hard as his nose began to close it's airways as the tears fell faster. It didn't help that the man had buried his head into the crook of his shoulder. His dark, silky hair brushing against his cheek. His breath, slow and warm falling into clouds around his ear.

"Please.." The man breathed his words into his ear, and Raito felt like dying. He was weak, and so pathetic. But, why the hell not tell him...he was already broken as it is.

"My room. I was in my room...and the door opened. But, no one was there. I went through to find my mom, and all I could hear was her voice...I couldn't see her. I couldn't see anything." Raito knew he had sob bubbles forming from the saliva in his mouth from trying to talk while choking on tears, but he didn't care.

"So, you have those too..." Raito felt the mans hands and face leave him. He listened as he heard his footsteps tracing across the room and then stopping. He heard the curtains being pushed aside, and watched as the blinds were rotated to shine soft bare moonlight into the room. A few bright neon signs gave their light away, but the moonlight seemed to dominate.

Raito watched again as the blank faced man walked back over to the side of his bead, and knelt down on the floor setting his head next to his own. Raito stared at the ceiling as he felt the mans hair beside his ear and nose beside his cheek. One of the mans hands came over and crossed Raito's chest in a soft embrace before taking a deep breath.

"But, mine aren't as much of dreams as they are replayed memories. I can still picture the exact way my room looked. I can still smell the exact scent it gave off. And...I can still feel the gentle rocking chair as it creaked softly when my mum would try and sing me to sleep on those restless nights. She always had such a soft voice...

"The walls were a soft creamy beige color. Free from scuffs or crayon marks. My mother made sure it always looked as perfect as it could be. Even if it meant hours of scrubbing, the stubborn woman. I would lay there every night, never sleeping much. I would just stare across the room through the safety bars that lined the side of the bed. I wasn't in a crib...but mum thought it safe to take precautions...to make sure I never got hurt falling off the bed and bumping my head. But, there wasn't truly enough sleep for that to happen. So I would just stare across the room, taking in every detail. The framed cross stitch above the bed: "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord, my soul to take." I always found that to be a somewhat morbid and inappropriate thing to place above a child's bed, but mum thought it to be like protection for my soul. All in case I were to die...

"The quilts were warm and thick, a patchwork design of mainly a blue and white pallet my great grandmother had created. The linens crisp and white. Washed every Sunday, to cleanse them. Always used a bit of holy water...mum was very religious. She always kept a crucifix hung on my door to guard me. It always scared me though...as a child to see a man hung upon a plank of wood. I didn't see the reason for such a thing. Let alone for such a thing to be praised and prayed over as it was.

"The dresser was opposite the wall of my bed. It was nothing more than simple and plain; rich dark wood with a glossy finish. The mirror always crystal clear. The bookshelf beside the dresser always held stuffed animals my mum had deemed me too old to sleep with anymore. The top shelf though, always had a copy of the Bible. My mothers childhood King James version, beside my own. Wedged between the dresser and bookshelf mum placed me a small nightlight. She always said her little...that I wouldn't need it years to come..that I would grow older and braver, and that I wouldn't need it to chase away monsters.

"At night, the double doors that led outside were always locked and sealed. Some nights though, mum would leave the shades pulled back. Though, only on a night of a full moon, or if the stars were especially bright. Then...on nights when I simply could not sleep, or if I had a nightmare, mum would open the doors wide open. She would pull the rocking chair out from the corner of the room and bring it to sit right in front of the doors. She would hold me in her lap..."

Raito listened, his own sobs quieted, to the man as his voice began to shake. Raito was sure he could even feel the man crying. But, he said nothing.

"...Mum would hold me in her lap, pulled up safely against her chest. I would rest my neck...right, right on her shoulder. She would rub circles onto my back, never daring to pat...patting always made me upset and fussy. She would always sing to me in a soft low voice...when I was especially tired, she would always sing me this song called "All the Pretty Little Horses"...It never failed to put me asleep in her arms. It ended up becoming a nightly routine after a while...until...one night...she didn't come home. I was still there...sitting in my bed...h-humming that song when they found me..."

Raito knew the man was crying now. It made him feel special...this man was letting down his guard, was crying in front of him. All so he, Raito, didn't feel alone in his pain. It made Raito want the other to feel that pain less, and less. Even though he did not remember, nor truly know the man, Ryuzaki, he wanted in that moment for him to be happy.

"Ryuzaki?" Raito whispered, turning his head to look at the man. Ryuzaki was still beside him, but had his face pressed into the pillow.

"Ryuzaki...am I the first person you've told that to?" The was a long pause, but the man finally lifted his head to meet Raito's gaze.

"Yes. You are the first to know." Raito smiled at the man, lifting his free un-tubed hand to pet the mans wild, but very soft hair.

"You fit last time, didn't' you?" Raito watched as Ryuzaki caught on to what he was asking, and slowly the man lifted himself from the floor. Raito scooted himself over to make room as the other man pulled the blankets up and slid in beside Raito (the side without the catheter). 

In all truth, Raito felt strange having the man snuggle up beside him. It scared him to know how the man felt about him, and to know he didn't remember any of it. But, if tonight was any proof, then maybe...maybe they could get over what happened. Maybe they could rediscover one another. 

With that promising thought...the two men fell asleep.

**xXxXxXxXxblack.is.the.new.bloodxXxXxXxXx**

"Wake up. You get the catheter out today Yagami-san." Raito stirred at the sound of a woman's voice in his ears...but jumped after hearing her begin to scream at them both.

"WAKE UP...god...what are you two boys doing? Sleeping in the same bed..?" The woman's voice was loud, and Raito found it highly annoying. He just wanted her to shut up...she was hurting his head. Besides, he didn't want to move. He was so warm and comfortable where he was.

"Shut up lady...I invited him to sleep with me. Now please, let me sleep." He heard the woman grumble, and felt the man beside him move with a soft sigh. Scared the man was about to leave him, Raito put what arms he could around the man, entangling his legs as well.

"No...don't go...too sleepy. I just want to sleep...don't get up...I'll get cold." Raito nuzzled his head into something, not entirely sure of what. All he could hear though, was the grumbling curse words the nurse was saying under her breath, and the soft chuckle of something, or more so the someone, that was holding onto him.

"Raito, I think maybe we should get up. It isn't good for you to sleep too much. We wouldn't want you going back into a coma. Besides, I am in need of sugar. As I believe, you are in need of coffee. Though, also...I am quite in need of using the bathroom..." The man said with a laugh in his tone. Raito just groaned, but none the less untangled himself from the man.

Raito opened his eyes and watched as the man slid from out of the bed and over towards the door that led to the hall.

"Where are you going?" Raito panicked at he thought that maybe...this guy was leaving already?

"I'm just going to use the restroom and get some food. Besides, your getting your catheter removed, and I'm sure you'd prefer that I not be here for that." With a rue smile, the man was gone. And Raito...Raito was left to deal with Helga and the catheter removal...this was not going to be fun.

**xXxXxXxXxblack.is.the.new.bloodxXxXxXxXx**

L walked quietly into the room, box of donuts as well as two coffee's all in his arms. He had thought it was hard with just the one cup from before, but it was nothing compared to trying to juggle two. Yet, somehow, the genius managed.

"Thanks for ditching me." Light muttered to him, a small sneer on his face.

"Your welcome. I brought a peace offering." L sat the cups of coffee on the night stand beside Light, the donuts beside them. He grabbed his own pre-sweetened coffee and began to sip the rich, sugary drink. It was somewhat hot, and burned his tongue, but that was a matter that he had learned to easily ignore.

"Coffee?" Light stared at the cup beside him before looking back at L.

"It seemed as though you could use some. Just please, do not drink it too fast. We would not want for your pulse to increase too much." L sat down into the chair he had kept beside Lights bed. He swiftly popped the box of donuts open and grabbed one of the sugary glazed donuts, and placed it in-between his teeth before grabbing the second cup of coffee and holding it out to Light.

Light took the coffee, not sure as to whether or not he liked it black or not, but L noticed, and just nodded. His own way of confirming to Light that indeed, he did drink it black.

"So-" Light began, but was cut off.

"If my hypothesis is correct, Light, then you are a virgin." L said as if he were describing the weather. From Light's reaction, it didn't have the same effect.

"WHAT! I'm not a fucking virgin! I mean, how would you even know? I bet YOU'RE A virgin, but I'm not!" Light choked on his coffee a bit, having to cough down a bit of it. But, it was true. He did in fact like black coffee.

"True, I am in fact a virgin, but you asked quite a hypocritical question. How would you even expect to know if you are a virgin or not, if you cannot remember." L smirked as he stared down at the donut in one hand before sipping his coffee. He knew he had just hit a nerve, and it was interesting to watch how the other reacted to his remarks in light of the current situation. Maybe there wouldn't even be a difference between Light before, and the Light now. That seemed to be the answer as of now. Hopefully this time though, Light would not suffice a god complex.

L looked up from his donut to catch Light staring at him incredulously. It was nearly comical the look on his face. L was sure it was somewhere between shock and disgust, along with complete embarrassment.

"Why don't you use the proper honorary with my name?" L smirked at Lights fairly quick recovery. 

"I felt as though you and I were close enough not to feel the need to do so." He watched carefully as Lights eyes stayed glued to his lap, coffee cup at his lips as he gulped down the coffee slowly. Light wasn't looking up, but L found that acceptable, he wasn't done anyway.

"Am I wrong? Wouldn't you much rather prefer Light rather than Light-kun, or Yagami-kun?" L watched once more as Light sipped his coffee. L himself nibbled at his second donut he had grabbed. 

"Why do you sit like that?" Light said looking straight at him. 

L looked down at himself and the peculiar position he was so accustomed to sitting in and smiled at Light. 

"Because if I do not, then my deduction skills decline by 40" Light squinted his eyes at the answer. It seemed to annoy him.

"So I guess your not as smart as you seem to be if you have to sit a certain way just to be so. Am I right?" Light had a sarcastic smirk on his face as he went back to sipping his black coffee. L simply smiled before retaliating.

"Light-KUN is quite clever, but your deduction skills slip as well if you are not groomed to a certain standard." Light stared back at him, one eyebrow raised.

"I'm doing just fine now though, wouldn't you say? But, if you really think that your little hypothesis is correct, then be prepared to test it once I leave the hospital. I'll show you it doesn't take a strange fetish to think better." Light began to smirk as he took another sip before adding, "Most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Let me guess, if you don't get enough sugar in your system your deduction skills decrease as well, eh?"

L smiled at Light playfully. "You catch on quick Light-kun. Feel better without the catheter?"

L watched the confusing look that flashed against Light's hazel eyes as he nodded.

"Yeah, I'm a hell of a lot more comfortable, that's for sure. I asked the nurse if it was okay for me to walk around a bit, to do something. But, she said no.." Light sighed, a deflated look spreading across his previously amused face.

"She is right though, Light-kun. You only just woke up two days ago, and after the amount of blood you lost, it would not be the best of ideas." L critically watched Lights features shift. He seemed put off by not being able to do as he pleased. His brows were slanted down, forming creases on his forehead. His lips were pressed in a thin line, and he truly seemed upset.

"I feel fine though--"

"That is wonderful Light-kun," L interrupted. "But let's not jump the gun. The quicker you recover, the faster you can leave. The less you push yourself, the easier it will be for your body to properly heal." 

"So...they shaved my hair off huh? All of it?" L felt uneasy about answering this question. Light obviously already knew the answer, and L knew how Light could be about subjects such as these. It was like walking through a field of land mines when it came to being with Light, L figured. Eventually, he would step on one, and eventually it would blow up in his face. This "it" being Yagami Light.

"Yes...they had to for the procedures...is there anything you would like me to do, Light-kun?" L watched as Lights face changed again to another emotion..it was almost like a mix of embarrassment, but then frustration and anger. 

"Well, that's fucking great...I mean, what? Do I get a wig or something..? Huh?" Light sighed and threw his head to the other side of the room, facing the window at the opposite side of L.

"If, Light-kun would like, I could make a phone call. I know a woman who would know about this stuff." L waited for Lights reaction, and it came quickly. Light looked straight into his midnight eyes, with glistening tears welled in his own hazel, and sighed.

"Thanks...I-...this is all so, so stressful... You, I mean," L watched as Light's fingers started to play with the edges of the blanket on his bed. The mans voice shook a little bit, but what else was he to expect? That Light would wake up from a drug induced coma all happy and cheery to have L as his lover? No. L knew this would be a emotional and confusing time for Light...he just never expected to see this many emotions all at once. Light had shown more emotion in the past couple of days than he did the extensive length of time he had been observing him.

"Fuck, why is this so hard? I.. God. You really are my boyfriend..right?" L simply nodded to Light's statement.

**xXxXxXxXxblack.is.the.new.bloodxXxXxXxXx**

Raito's head was nearly reeling it was so full of emotions and all the things happening. He had lied when he said he felt fine. He still felt quite like a large pile of shit. He was tired, even though he knew he had slept for a long time. He was in pain, even though he was on heavy meds, and no longer had to deal with that "go bot". But, with the man in front of him...no, not just a man, his boyfriend. Dammit.

Raito didn't know how to handle the situation. His first meet with the guy hadn't exactly been what he would have called a "good blind date". It was more like a disaster worthy of it's own reality show. The man was so strange, and yet he was also charming. His demeanor was somewhat cold, but Raito already knew he could be warm...very warm. This guy had always been by his side when he woke up. Not to mention that even though it seemed that the man, Ryuzaki, had rudely teased him, he had also been so kind and straightforward with Raito. And even though Raito hated to admit it...he was, indeed, a virgin...or at least he thought so. 

"So, I'm gay, and your gay. We..we kiss, and were planning on one day..." Raito knew he was blushing...HARD. His cheeks burned and he knew he couldn't look the other man in the eyes. Not after what he had just said.

"Yes Raito-kun, seeing the situation through the eyes of common reference, we are in fact gay. Yes, we have kissed, and yes...I believe we were." Raito heard the softness in the mans voice. He wondered how the man could be so calm and level. He felt like he would burst.

"Are you mad at me, Ryuzaki? For taking that away from you, I mean but I'll-" 

"No, Raito-kun, you have nothing to be sorry for. It was merely an accident. Something neither of us could prevent." Ryuzaki had cut him off, and still hadn't really answered one of his questions.

"So, you love me; and I love you?" Raito knew he sounded like a retarded twelve year old asking his first crush to be his, but he didn't care. 

"Yes, I love you Raito-kun. And I believe that you loved me as well." Something about how Ryuzaki phrased the last sentence made Raito feel like screaming! It just made him feel utterly agitated, like he wanted to ring the guys neck, and yet wanted to kiss the guys bare feet. Whatever, just something to stop sounding so melancholy about everything. He was the one confused and in the dark here!

"So, your saying you don't even know if I loved you? You sound as if you've given up...you don't even think I could...do you?" 

"Raito-kun is clever. But, I am human. Every human feels self-conscious. Every human doubts his or herself in such matters as these. Would it surprise you if I said that I hoped you would end up loving me more after the accident...if not at all. I-" Raito had had enough.

"Just shut up! God...your rambling doesn't help either of us! If your so freaked out-" Raito sighed. He knew what he would say next, what he would do next. But, it didn't help the fit of adrenaline that had started to leak into his veins. He just didn't want to have to discuss all this again. It was going to be a long stay at the hospital, and he did not want it to feel longer because of their apprehension.

"Just...just kiss me. Maybe, maybe I'll remember something." Raito had been looking away, but after finishing his statement, he looked over to find those already strange, large eyes even wider. But before he could quickly, and awkwardly say anything along the lines of 'forget it' or, 'never mind'; Ryuzaki had stood up from his chair and was getting closer and closer to him. The man hadn't even touched him, and yet he could already feel himself losing his breath and all his senses begging him to stop the crazy madness. 

Raito had already been positioned in the bed to where he was sitting up. It made Ryuzaki's face seem level to his as the mans knee hit the mattress, making it sink somewhat. The mans strange eyes seemed to be glued to his, and Raito found that he simply could not look away. He was spell bound in the best, yet worst sort of way.

A surprisingly warm hand slipped onto his right shoulder, as the other one came to reverently brush the side of his face. The touch on his face was soft, and sent waves of pleasure down his spine. But that was nothing compared to the warm breath floating across his lips. And then...the spark.

The other mans lips softly crashed onto his, and even if Raito didn't remember any of the other kisses, this one for sure had to be the best. The soft pressure of the mans lips, his own following suit...it was maddening. In no time it made him breathless, yet he seemed to try and pull the man in closer. His hands gripped the back of Ryuzaki's head, fingers combing through the surprisingly soft hair. Even when he felt a soft warm lick on his lower lip, he didn't pull away for air. Sure, his chest was beginning to burn a bit, but it was worth it. It was all worth it as he felt that strong wet tongue twirl with his.

But, just as it had began...it came to a end.

"Remember anything?" Raito's eyes open, he hadn't even realized he closed them. But, now they were open to receive the sight of Ryuzaki staring at him with his thumb pressed up against his bottom lip.

"..No. I don't remember anything..." He stared at the other mans eyes. There was just something about them..something he wanted to ask Ryuzaki, no matter how stupid it sounded.

"Are you...Do you wear eyeliner?" Raito watched as the corners of the mans lips rose. The quirky smile was just...cute. It made his own mouth slip into a small smile.

"No, Raito-kun. I am not wearing eyeliner. I'm something of a insomniac, hence the dark cirlces." 

"Oh, well, I should have figured that out. By the way, you can just call me 'Raito' without the -kun...if that's okay with you."

"Of course. Is Raito tired?" He stubbornly shook his head, though he knew he was tired. 

"Raito is lying then." To that he simply stared dead pan into the mans eyes. How was he supposed to know whether or not he was tired?

"Raito can barely keep his eyes open." Raito stared at the man who's voice had gone so soft. It was like the lightest whisper, and yet the sweetest sound. And as Ryuzaki's hand began to gently stroke his face, Raito knew he wouldn't be able to stay awake for long.

"_Sugar Were Goin Down_" -**Fall Out Boy**, From Under The Cork Tree

Am I more then you bargined for yet?

I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear

Cause that's just who I am this week

Lie in the grass next to the mausoleum

I'm just a notch in your bedpost but you're just a line in a song

Drop a heart and break a name

We're always sleeping in and sleeping for the wrong team

We're going down, down in an earlier round

And sugar we're goin down swingin'

I'll be your number one with a bullet

A loaded God complex

Cock it and pull it 

Is this more then you bargined for yet?

Oh, don't mind me. I'm watching you two from the closet

Wishing to be the friction in your jeans

Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him

I'm just a notch in your bedpost but you're just a line in a song

Drop a heart and break a name

We're always sleeping in and sleeping for the wrong team

We're going down, down in an earlier round

And sugar we're goin down swingin

I'll be your number one with a bullet

A loaded God complex

Cock it and pull it 


End file.
